Scared of living life
I'm scared to live my life Finding a partner - falling in love, marriage, having kids, taking the responsibility to be a parent and so on.
I'm not afraid to die. I don't care if I'm reincarnated 8.4 million times or sent to hell. Everything happens accordingly to Gods will.
Sometimes I just feel like ending my life.
(I'm not amritdhari)
Edit: I'm scared of attachment. The thought of going around the holy guru granth sahib, commitment to someone, getting my soul attached to the one I marry, sacrificing myself to someone, getting him more attached to me, that scares me alot! Giving birth to a child, not being able to be a good parent. etc.
I have decided that I'm going to end my life. If I'm not able to get rid of these thoughts within a few years. I have thought about it for a long time now. A secret I have kept for myself.
ANSWER to gn: Thank you for your answer.
First of all baba deep singh and the bhai gurdas singh ji were males, and they had a very busy life especially bhai gurdas ji who wrote for our gurus.
I'm not asexual.
I would like to live my life with someone but not in attachment. My parents doesn't allow me to live with a man (If I'm not married to him). I believe if I get married, I will have a spiritual connection with him, and that scares me. Because I read somewhere that marriage is a bound between souls, two souls becomes one. I don't know what to do, my parents want me to get married and not allowing me to live with a man without getting married, I'm feeling depressed.
I apologize of posting this question and I apologize if I said anything wrong.