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Scared of living life

asked 2015-07-23 11:36:34 -0500

anonymous user


updated 2015-07-23 16:20:13 -0500

Guruka Singh gravatar image

I'm scared to live my life Finding a partner - falling in love, marriage, having kids, taking the responsibility to be a parent and so on.

I'm not afraid to die. I don't care if I'm reincarnated 8.4 million times or sent to hell. Everything happens accordingly to Gods will.

Sometimes I just feel like ending my life.

(I'm not amritdhari)

Edit: I'm scared of attachment. The thought of going around the holy guru granth sahib, commitment to someone, getting my soul attached to the one I marry, sacrificing myself to someone, getting him more attached to me, that scares me alot! Giving birth to a child, not being able to be a good parent. etc.

I have decided that I'm going to end my life. If I'm not able to get rid of these thoughts within a few years. I have thought about it for a long time now. A secret I have kept for myself.

ANSWER to gn: Thank you for your answer.

First of all baba deep singh and the bhai gurdas singh ji were males, and they had a very busy life especially bhai gurdas ji who wrote for our gurus.

I'm not asexual.

I would like to live my life with someone but not in attachment. My parents doesn't allow me to live with a man (If I'm not married to him). I believe if I get married, I will have a spiritual connection with him, and that scares me. Because I read somewhere that marriage is a bound between souls, two souls becomes one. I don't know what to do, my parents want me to get married and not allowing me to live with a man without getting married, I'm feeling depressed.

I apologize of posting this question and I apologize if I said anything wrong.

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answered 2015-07-27 11:20:00 -0500

Guruka Singh gravatar image

updated 2018-08-06 10:38:27 -0500

gn ji - "They are not said to be husband and wife, who merely sit together. Rather they alone are called husband and wife, who have one soul in two bodies." (Guru Amar Das, Pauri, Ang 788)

Anonymous Kaur Ji - You say you are afraid of attachment. Commitment and attachment are two very different things. The first is a tool you use to dispel doubt and to consciously do the work you came into this lifetime to do. Attachment is when you get caught by something you desire. You can have full commitment without any attachment.

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answered 2015-07-23 12:14:23 -0500

gn gravatar image

updated 2015-07-23 18:34:14 -0500

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Why do you want to end your life ?

If you can give us more details about why your scared, we can help you better.


No one is forcing you to get married. Many Gursikhs such as Baba Deep Singh Ji and Bhai Gurdas Ji didn't get married.

Marriage isn't meant to be a scary thing, you are overthinking it. 9 out of the 10 Gurus got married and had children.

Don't end your life, you probably have some anxiety. Don't want to get married simple don't.

Please look at this link, someone asked a question kind of similar to yours.

Also ask the Sangat on their your questions, hopefully you will get more replies.

Guru Ji himself answered your questions in yesterdays Hukamnama from Sri Harmandir Sahib.

Heres the link">

Also this 16 minute Katha for this Hukam will answer all your questions

Also check out this post

To receive this human life and to follow the path of Sikhi is very hard to obtain.

Please get back a soon as you can

Do ardaas in front of Guru Ji tell him to destroy all your fears. Keep doing path, simran and sewa.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Edit 2

Thanks for getting back

Didn't mean to say you where asexual sorry if that offended you.

You can find yourself a Gursikh husband, theres many sikh matrimonial sites. Getting married to a Sikh who follows the Guru will help develop your spirituality both of your aims and hopes will be related to Guru Ji. So you will both push each other to become better Sikhs. Also you are allowed to love your family and husband nothing wrong with that, it's said that Baba Fateh Singh Ji used to run and hug Guru Sahib Ji when he was sitting on his thakt.

As Sikhs we should bring Sikhs into this world, and teach them what Guru Ji has taught the whole world. Then hopefully feature generations of Sikhs will serve and protect humanity.

I think I heard that the souls merge, but im not sure about this if some else can confirm this please.

In Lavan it talks about your soul being merged with waheguru

Theres a whole course on Anand Karajs think there are 3 parts.

Also there was something about Anand Karjas and the couple walking together instead on the male leading. Jagraj Singh from Basics of Sikhi said that one of them further distance away from Guru Ji, where as the leading way both are equally close to Guru Ji.

I would agree with your parents living with a male and not being married. The moment you both slip for a split second you could both end up having a physical relationship.

You are allowed to find/date a Singh if you want to get ... (more)

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Thank you Guruka Singh for confirming

gn gravatar imagegn ( 2015-07-27 13:32:32 -0500 )edit

answered 2018-08-03 15:09:38 -0500

I start hating mariage because relatives always make fun of my short height.. I said them that I dont have problm from my height but they again making fun of me .. I hate mariage because of my relatives and my height insecurity.. in actuall very less people made fun of my height .. but my relatives hav problm of my height... I did ardass to guru g for my height increase .. but I still have same height... if I not marry then who will take care of me in this cruel world .. if I marry then they fell make me feel low ... sometimes I feel sucidal of these things .. please give me realistic suggestion

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Waheguru jio, the reality is that everyone in this world is insecure and no one is perfect. So what if your height is short? (if you're girl, boys love short girls and if you're a boy then just find a short girl. it'll be a cute match). Waheguru ji wont increase your height but he will give you...

Tryingtobasikh gravatar imageTryingtobasikh ( 2018-08-03 19:50:48 -0500 )edit

... the courage to be happy with your height. "Tera bhana meetha laage". It's gods will, just be happy and trust me there's definitely someone out there for you. Don't stress yourself out and ignore your relatives, instead, smile at them and tell them "ki tonu Waheguru da dita pasand nahi?"

Tryingtobasikh gravatar imageTryingtobasikh ( 2018-08-03 19:52:40 -0500 )edit

answered 2018-08-03 20:01:32 -0500

Tryingtobasikh gravatar image

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh,

Take a deep breath first of all ji, and don't stress out. You mentioned that you're scared of having an attachment? Does that mean you just don't want to be stuck with one person for the rest of your life? is that it? However, you don't have to be attached to your husband, you just have to be loving. All our gurus were not attached to their spouse but rather fulfilled their duty (I.e. Guru Nanak dev ji left his wife to go to udaasis, to preach sikhi, but then he came back and was still a great husband, Guru gobind singh ji gave his life for the panth, he wasn't afraid of leaving his wife but overall, was a great husband). Similarly, you can do your duty as a wife without being attached. This is because attachment is like a baby rejecting to give away his toy no matter who asks, and then cries if it is taken away. I'm not sure about your mindset, but just understand that marriage is more than just physical bonding but also spiritual one (the one you're scared of). In simple terms, spiritual bonding is when you need to treat your husband with respect, love and vice versa. There's nothing to be scared of, just see him as a friend! If he's a good guy, he'll understand your worries and win your heart slowly. Waheguru ji mehr karn. Bhul Chuk Muaf karni.

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Asked: 2015-07-23 11:36:34 -0500

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Last updated: Aug 06 '18