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Blaming myself

asked 2018-10-20 13:29:55 -0600

Hopelesslyhopefull gravatar image

updated 2018-10-24 09:52:55 -0600

Guruka Singh gravatar image

I believe that my sins are the reason my family is falling apart. It started with my brother and then my father and now my mom comes to me and begs me to leave this house. She doesnt like my dad because he has become physical towards my brother and her because they dont listen. I understand everyone's views. I spoke with my mom to show her that no one in this house is bad we are all just falling apart because we are without God. The days they fight my mom doesnt do paath or put it on in the morning and evenings like she does every other day. I told her she needs to keep her routine, keep God close she has a special connection with God and I tell her we are going through this tough part only to receive good and all this dukh we feel now God will make sure it will eventually be days we dont even remember.

I am trying to be my outmost positive self with God in my heart and mind at all times but I get sad and depressed that I have caused such a suffering household for everyone. My brother is on the verge of being kicked out and my mom is on the verge of leaving the house herself. My dad will believe God but gets into such a negative space that he doesnt see any good in anyone, not even God.

I want to fix everyone and not blame myself but I cant change that until they get better. How else can I help them? Am I doing enough for them to get through this? Is everything going to be ok in the end? Or do I need to stop being selfish in keeping everyone together for me and maybe everyones better off being alone and living their own lives if eachother brings us pain?

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answered 2018-10-22 15:39:56 -0600

Guruka Singh gravatar image

The situation at home is not your fault. In Sikhi there is no "sin." There are actions done in ego and there are selfless actions. Selfish actions draw us away from experiencing the One and selfless actions bring us close.

You can't fix anyone else, you can only fix yourself. Keeping the family together is also not your responsibility. Be steady in your self and in your own self-discipline and back out of the family interactions a bit. Be there for everyone, but be neither a pawn in anyone else's game nor the one who tries to fix other's relationships. Remain kind and compassionate and give up blaming yourself. Just do what needs to be done in each next moment.

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Asked: 2018-10-20 13:29:55 -0600

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Last updated: Oct 22 '18