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How to help my brother

asked 2018-10-23 15:13:08 -0600

Hopelesslyhopefull gravatar image

updated 2018-10-24 09:53:50 -0600

Guruka Singh gravatar image

My brother for many years has had his ups and downs with us at home. Always had a rocky relationship with our father and now it has gotten worse. Hes getting older and taking no responsibility. I have been the older sibling to him and the son of my family for years but I have a future I need to live for myself and I cant allow myself to stay put in this family. As a girl I have felt the anger towards the leniency my brother gets from my parents while I never have. But I also understand that I dont get treated the same because my parents see that I am strong and dont need to be treated like a baby.

I love my brother and always want the best for him but I just want him to take the role of being olderand the only son seriously now. Hes 28, Im starting to pray for him but is there any special ways I can help more? Take him to the Gurdwara or any paths I can do?

He doesnt talk to me in person, we just text he doesnt talk to my dad, just with my mom. But I want to help bring him back to the way he was before. I want him to find God wihin himself he seems depressed and alone and hurt and its always hurt me inside to see him like that.

Is God going to bring him back if I pray but he doesnt? Does God listen to me for him and offer him help?

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answered 2018-10-23 23:26:29 -0600

Tryingtobasikh gravatar image

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh,

Behn ji, I want to start off by saying that your brother might be going through isolation, which is why he doesn't come forth like he use to. Erik Erikson's and his stages of development shows that at your brothers' age, he's at "intimacy vs isolation". Thus, definitely try to talk to him, comfort him, like a mother or a being who understands his true self. So what if he's not close to his father? he has guru ji or god to call his father, remember he's the closest of the closest "mera sajanda sab te nikat khada"; "my beloved, stands the closest to me". God doesn't judge and listens to all our worries but its up to us to believe that. Know that every other thing is false, so why dwell upon things for so long and get depressed when you know you have something that will last forever?

I suggest listen to "Salok of ninth guru" in Punjabi with English translation to understand how transitory this world is and we're only in this world as guests. Perhaps a little support and more push in the right direction is what he needs. We're all humans and we just want to be loved, so try giving him that even though he's 28, he might still be fearful of interacting or letting feelings out. Thus, try to be an approachable person and get him to realise that you are someone he can share anything with, as well as our beloved guru/god.

Bhul chuk muaf.

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Asked: 2018-10-23 15:13:08 -0600

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Last updated: Oct 23 '18