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How do I have Positive thinking?

asked 2013-07-03 07:18:08 -0500

anonymous user


updated 2013-07-03 07:55:32 -0500

Hey,I'm a 16 years old born brought up in GurSikh family.Due to wrong friends circle I got deeper inside porn and masturbate everyday 2 or 3 times a day.I have tried all the ways to leave this habbit of watching porn and masturbate but i failed,it lasts for about 10 to 15 days then again i have feeling to masturbate.I have filled my mind of negative thinking,always have feeling of agressiveness and my health is too geting down day by day.always fell lazy,sleepy,pain in back and knees.I always think of making others attract towards me.This even has affected my studies fisrt I was getting above 90% and now it is just 70%.I always fell lonely,angry on everyone and blush when i saw girls from outside but deep in my heart full of negative thinking.I started to too dream about Porn.I think that I should get Amritdhari but I'm afraid of it.Please tell me way for getting myself pure and have bright future.

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answered 2013-07-09 22:19:46 -0500

Your Average Sikh Guy gravatar image

I am going to give you advice that is based on my personal experience.

First thing you need to know is that most people masturbate! Boys masturbate, girls masturbate, men, women, even some old people masturbate! When I was your age, I also used to masturbate 2-3 times a day!

The reason why I am telling you this is because I want you to realize that what you are feeling is perfectly normal. You are 16 years old, your body is going through a lot of changes, you are coming into manhood and you have these sexual feelings towards the opposite sex. Its all normal and every teen age boy and even girls go through this. Don't hate yourself for this. Realize that if you are having these feelings then most of your friends are having them as well. The problem is that no one will tell this to you like I just did because people think that its a bad think to discuss this "openly". The reason why I am being so open with you on this issue is that when I was going through my teenage years, I thought that I was doing paap by having these feelings and that I was the worst person in the whole world. I stared to look at my self very negatively and that effected my personality and my ability to be friendly with people. You don't need to beat yourself over this. You don't need to feel down or angry or lonely. Here is what I suggest you do:

  1. Start by slowing down on your masturbation. Do it less and less until you get to a point where you are hardly doing it once a week. People may not like what I just said here but you can't just "Stop" overnight on this. Its a powerful feeling and you control it slowly and with patience.

  2. Make yourself so busy that you don't have time to think about sexual stuff. I know, the thoughts come at the worst time and place but again your going to have to make an effort and it will go away slowly. Start a hobby, start writing a journal, learn about Sikh history, get involved in school. Whatever it is that you want to do, just make the effort to do it and keep your mind focused. Its a lot easier for me to lecture you on it but you have to try...

  3. Start exercising or doing some sports or martial arts like gatka or something to get your body exhausted to the point that you don't have that energy in you to waste on masturbation. Trust me, even our Guru's told the singhs to keep the physical body in good shape and one reason was to keep the sexual feelings away.

  4. Do what all the other post said before me, do ardaas and do path. I don't think that doing just path by itself will help but if ...

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answered 2013-07-03 08:15:50 -0500

Harjapjeet Singh gravatar image

I can understand your feeling but i don't have any answer for this just answer is ARDAS infront of almighty Waheguru.

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answered 2013-07-06 17:40:49 -0500

Gurujis Daughter gravatar image

Do Ardaas every single day to Guru ji to bless you with Naam and eleminate your wrong habbits. Know that you are making extensive karams because of your two habbits. Karams are what makes us run in 8.4 million life forms. They seperate us from Waheguru. We got this life to wash away those huge piles of Karams that we have carried on from suchhhh long times of previous janams. But why are we making more bad karams in this janam?

Don't say I cant stop. Just STOP doing all those. Just STOP right now that you will not do any of those things again. Don't think it is hard or not possible. You are part of Waheguru - all souls are part of Waheguru just like all droplets are part of a big Ocean. And just like Waheguru has so much power to do anything, you have part of that Waheguru's power too. Just practice that power to stop your bad habits by doing more Naam simran, nitnem, and listen to kath (Do all this every single day).

Know that your are Guru Gobind singh ji's son, and you should never have such habits. You have to be far far away from them and being such powerful Khalsa.

Start your journey to take Amrit. What is stopping you? Discuss your problems that stop you from taking Amrit with your friends and family.

Two very important things - DO Naam Simran EVERYSINGLE DAY. Start from 5 min and increase it as you practice. Next time when you feel like doing wrong things, say WAHEGURU immediately. This acts like a sword which kills your bad thought. This helps! Sangat - change your sangat. I have been through bad sangat, trust me it makes you sooo bad. I left all my manmujh friends because this is what Guru ji wants you to do. Guru ji eventually gave me new Gursikh friends. Trust me I have been through it, bad sangat REALLY REALLY is wrong. They just talk about maya and THEY take you AWAY from Waheguru ji.

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answered 2013-07-03 12:33:55 -0500

JasPinduh gravatar image

Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa waheguru Ji ki fateh

I think you should start doing path ... Little by little you'll get used to it . Another thing do some activities that will make you feel good, like a sport or something like that. I guess you should stay away from your friends. Don't worry you'll get better, at least you realize your mistake and it won't take long till you get rid of this problem. I have fate in you <3

And for your back and knees try drinking golden turmeric milk :

This will help you, and don't be afraid of anything ... Guruji is always watching over you

Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa waheguru Ji ki fateh

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answered 2013-07-08 08:57:38 -0500

Raghbir Singh gravatar image

just relax. don't think more. just relax. do path(worship) on daily basis. and change your friend circle. always be with good friends. you will definitely come out of this.

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Asked: 2013-07-03 07:18:08 -0500

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Last updated: Jul 09 '13