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Anger management

asked 2017-10-09 17:24:01 -0500

Baagi Singh gravatar image

updated 2017-10-09 17:39:48 -0500

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh ji

Waheguru ji i am going through some anger issues lately about a year ago i want angry at all but then i started to show anger. I use to have a doh so when i was frustrated or something like that i started to pick on him like slap him for no reason hold him in my arms and legs tightly for no reason squeez him stuff like that at one point i started hitting him as wellthen my friend asked to give him up bcz itsnot fair with dog so i realized that and i give him up then i started to get more angry during work if i am working more than other guys i started to get angry tht why i am working more why arent others working more. Even during small discussion i started worked up and get angry like why i am proven wrong or why is he talking back to me.there was a one day when i picked up a fight with my co-worker and seriously injured him in his head and almost chocked him. Doesnt matter how much i try i get andry easily like if someone start making jokes about me i get angry on that too i stop eating and talki g during the any aggression time I d k i have a feeling inside me that noone love me not my family not my friends noone i am all alone

I definatly miss my dog i feel like the day i give him up i get more angry. I see him once a month just to see how is he doing. He was the only one who always loved me nomatter what i did to him even when i go to see him he gets so exicted that his new owners thinks that its still my dog

I dont know what makes me so angry i need help to get a better person

Bhul chuk maaf Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh ji

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answered 2017-10-09 19:20:51 -0500

strongKaur gravatar image

Well you’ve taken a good step identifying that anger is a problem for you and giving your dog away, because that definitely wasn’t safe or fair for that poor dog. Please let him stay with the new owners. It must have taken a lot for you to admit that. You said this happened over this last year. What has changed? Why do you feel unloved by your family and friends now?

Write a list of all the negative ways that your anger is affecting your health, career, etc. Make a list of all the triggers for your anger- what sets it off? It’s important to recognize these things. Now write down also what your anger feels like so you can sense it early and stop it before it gets to hitting people. When you recognize the trigger, and those feelings, you step away from the situation. Leave, cool off. Don’t speak, don’t act. Then either exercise, or write about it and find a way to put what you are feeling into nicer words. Have understanding for the other person. Try to cool off the anger so you can think rationally and try to think from their point of view and other explanations for the situation. Then when you are calm it might be appropriate to have a conversation, if it’s still important, otherwise learn how to let small things go. It’s important to learn how to BREATHE when we are angry as well and take that time to breathe and try to relax a little bit.

Here the goal is not only to stop behaviours- hitting your coworkers, but also the thoughts that trigger those behaviours. Often times people don’t have other skills to work on their anger, or poor skills were modeled when they were little, so we work on those. Have you thought about seeing your doctor to set up counselling? Your workplace might even be able to set it up through your insurance. Counselling can help you work on these things- changing ways of thinking, ways of coping. In Sikhi we do have many tools to deal with anger- Gurbani, Naam Japna, sewa, spending time with good sangat. Essentially working to get rid of ego which underlies the anger, and build the feelings of love for God.

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Asked: 2017-10-09 17:24:01 -0500

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Last updated: Oct 09 '17