i hate you god, i hate u

i know that the title of my question will be annoying to you but after facing numerous problems in my life, i have to say that i hate you god. he knows everything but he is still not helping me, he is just watching at me laughing. so that's why i have decided not to follow your path. my mom was wrong who was teaching me that try your best and rest leave to god because now i have finally concluded that there is no god, and by mistake if there is any thing in this world like god then i can respectfully say that that thing always favors and help the bad people. that thing named god always mug the innocent people and make them to suffer a lot. the rich is becoming more richer day by day and poor people like me are loosing money everyday and are becoming more poorer day by day.

i am soo sorry but i am writing all this because now i am fed up from my life. i don't want to live anymore now. even after praying a lot, doing ardaas, paath, listening kirtans and doing good karmas what i am getting is only failure everywhere. i even cry everyday in front of babaji to sort out my problems which i have been facing from last two years and please bless me but the result and the response i am getting is only a zero.

its been more than an year for me living in New Zealand and still i can say that i am useless with no job. people are earning a lot of money everyday, their bank accounts are very heavy. they have paid back their student loans. they are living a luxurious life and they are all happy. even the students including girls who came this year have earned more money than me. the girl whom i liked said to me that u r useless, u have spent one year and u earn only $250 a week. boy who came here last week has started earning $1000 a week. everyone have got good jobs because their family members have helped them a lot and the most strange thing about these rich guys are that all of them have cut down their hair. they visit gurudwara but don't maintain their kesh. no one helped me here. i was alone, i struggled a lot but still i am a loser. i have no money left in my bank a/c now. my student loan amount is increasing day by day. the world is earning money everyday but my fucking life sucks me. i don't know whether i would be able to complete my degree or not ? whether i would be able to pay my rent and other expenses, whether i would be able to live in this world or not ? i have just became a burden on my parents and i have decided that i will suicide ... (more)