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Bring back belief in God for my mum

asked 2012-02-07 07:41:12 -0600

anonymous user


updated 2012-03-30 16:08:05 -0600

Guruka Singh gravatar image

Hi I am a sikh guy and I am in my early forties.

When I was 12 my Father passed away from Cancer and at the time this really affected my family. It affected my mum more mentally and it was me and my sister who tried to keep things together. All of us then started reading gurbani hoping it will give us peace and this did help us and including my mum. At the age of 16 my sister also passed away from a condition known as Clostridium difficile, again we turned to Gurbani for help and support. Since I was 16 both me and my mum have been working hard to deal with the financial pressures like bills and mortgagee. Also as I am not very good looking I have not been able to get married or have any sort of relationship with a female. I could see my mum has been getting upset year by year when girls would reject me. One Giani once told me that if Wahaguru has written marriage in my destiny then I will get it. I have tried to explain this to my mum that not everyone is blessed with Marriage and children. But over the past few years my mum says she has lost all beleif in god. She wil not read or listen to shabad or go to the Gudwara. She says she has seen many of my cousins and other people who have led sinful lifes with smoking, drinking gambling etc and they are all happily married with children and have high paid jobs.

I understand her frustration because I do feel like this to some days, like why where my Dad and sister taken from us, why even after working so hard that I am not able to earn aot of money to help in financial pressures. Plus I do also think there must be something wrong with me as I have been rejected from marriage proposals for over 30 years now. I listen to shabad to help me in this. Is there a way for me to help my mum to bring back belief in god within her.

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answered 2012-03-05 18:04:08 -0600

Guruka Singh gravatar image

Yes, if Waheguru has written marriage in your destiny then you will get it. Some people are not destined to be married or have children. You already understand that situation. You are paying a karma with your mother. The rest of your immediate family was taken away so you could be able to pay this karma.

You cannot change your mum, but you can be the change you wish to see. Do YOUR sadhana, do YOUR paath, perfect yourself in your own relationship with your Guru. As for your mum,love her, serve her and honor her just as she is. Unconditionally. Your prayers are more powerful than you understand.

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answered 2012-10-05 00:09:55 -0600

Unknown gravatar image

I can understand your condition.Similarly, me and my family have gone through a lot.I don't want to go in detail about myself,but believe me you will get whatever you want,take care of yourself and your mum.Be brave and patient.God will be by your side very soon.

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answered 2012-10-06 19:30:18 -0600

kaurk2012 gravatar image


I am very sorry about your situation, but all I would like to say is don't loose your faith it will be your strength in this hardship. Also you can not force anyone to believe in God, but you can pray and with his hukam your mother will regain her faith. God bless you both !

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answered 2012-10-16 07:47:40 -0600

Hodge gravatar image

This is very interesting actually.... Because if we look at life in general it's full of examples like the one above. But I can't help but think that if we are determined by the karm of our past lives then there is not much we can do in this life to change what we are supposed to become. It's almost as if life is pointless and that we are slaves to our past. But I cannot help think of two gurbani lines

1 jo mangeh thakur apne te soe soe deve 2 hukameh indar sab ko , bahar hukam na koe

1 What ever I ask for from my lord he gives that to me. How can this be if we are bound by our previous karm and we are not meant to have what we ask for?

2 everybody is inside the order no one is outside of it

This brings forth some ideas of free will. If we are given free will to do as we wish then we are definetly able to get what we want in live. But I don't think this will change the Akaal's hukam as even our will is inside of the hukam and even if we think we have changed our destiny it was still within the hukam.

Additionally it also seems that if we are here to play out our past karma then that means with our free will we can accumulate more karm by our free will. So ultimately it seems we are not limited to anything but rather determined by our past Karma yet we fashion ourselves through our will by what we do in our life here and now.

This is only my opinion from what I have read and does not necessarily mean it is right but if people could discuss this further that would be great.

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Asked: 2012-02-07 07:41:12 -0600

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Last updated: Oct 16 '12