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Keeping a distance

asked 2013-07-08 01:30:24 -0500

kaurk2012 gravatar image

Hey Guys,

So I have a problem I have two good family friends and every time we hang out my mom and one of my friends have the same personalities so they get into arguments so at the end of the night I don't feel like I had a good time . I just feel like I wasted my time ! But I again forget and do the same thing over . I like their company but I think I need to keep a distant in a nice way how do I do that ? But I love them too and they are great friends .

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answered 2013-07-10 22:56:39 -0500

Your Average Sikh Guy gravatar image

Dear Sister,

Your profile name is Kaurk2012 so I am going to assume that you are a girl and my little sister. Also, you did not provide a whole lot of background about your mom and your two family friends so that will make it a bit hard for me to give you advice, but I will try my best. I don't know if your mom and the two family friends have any past history together (most women who argue with each other are usually good friends first and later for one reason or the other become not so good friend!). I also don't know your age and the age of our family friends but if they argue with your mom, then I am going to assume that they are either as old as your mom or younger then her but older than you. I also don't know how old you are but I am again going to assume that you are above 16 years of age but less than 21.

Okay, with all that assumption, I am now going to give you my advice that may or may not be the best advice you can get here!

If your family friends and your mom argue and you want to hang out with them both then here is what your options are:

You can hang out with them separately. I know, this is not the "answer" you were looking for but in life its easier to change yourself or your behaviors then to change others! Think of the last time your mom told you to do something that she does not like? Did you change right away? Hell no! You probably still do that thing that she told you not to do. Its not rocket science, it's human nature. We human beings don't like to be told what to do? We want to make our own decisions even if they are the wrong ones. So, don't try to "solve their issues with each other" because you won't be able to. Try to solve your issue of spending time with them both by hanging out with them separately.

I am not a big fan of avoiding people because you never know what you may learn from one person that could have taken you years to learn the hard way! So, I would first try the above before giving up on them and avoiding the people who are so near and dear to your heart.

Adults, especially Punjabi families are very aggressive. We will argue and debate every little unimportant thing just to make our point. We care less about listening and more about telling others what we think (case in point, what I am doing right now!).

So, don't let their issues become your issue. Our Guru (Guru Granth Sahib Ji Maharaj) does not want us to avoid good people. In fact, Guru ji wants us to always surround ourselves with good company ... (more)

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answered 2013-07-08 08:51:49 -0500

Raghbir Singh gravatar image

don't bother at all. they are doing so because they care for you. look positive point they are loving you. have you ever seen any unknown person doing same for you. because unknown person don't love you so they don't do the same. and always keep in mind that arguments never win. so whenever they say anything to you just keep silent and listen. if you will keep silent then after few days they will realize that they are wrong. Silence have a great power.

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answered 2013-07-11 02:31:15 -0500

kaurk2012 gravatar image

Thank you so much you guys are awsome as well as you're advices :D !

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Asked: 2013-07-08 01:30:24 -0500

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Last updated: Jul 11 '13