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how to accept panna and being humble

asked 2013-04-20 13:34:42 -0600

khalsa kaur gravatar image

Dear Brothers and Sister, I was arranged marriage and follow my husband to North America, I from here California. I lived there for 4 months and my husband was saying he dislike living in northern America (Canada) not only living expensive but no life so he himself insist to come here USA. I also informed him its better to stay away from family because too much family involved not good and he said and assure me that everything will be okay...Since we came here he's sister involved in our matter I was working and didn't ask him to find job because he told me once he got his paper work that I sponsored him than he'll work...even it was hard for me but just to make him happy I sacrifice work 40 hours a week.He spend most of the time either to his sister house or watching TV at home nothing else...yet I let it go but it got to far that he for no right and no reason all of the time cursing and bad mouthing my families from no where...every conversation as a husband and wife he acted like a kid either sour face or screaming at me..I got nervous seeing him acted like that, I was grow in the orthodox and religious family that the women can't have higher voice should talk politely and etc. I came back to my parents house not to far from we living even though I went to my parents house they told me I have to solve the problem and you can share the problem but we don't want to know or get involve your marriage matter we can give you advise but not involved that is my parents taught me,,,,where his mom or his sister always listen and support his childishness and not advise him to talk the matter or solve the problem instead encourage him to run away back to Canada...and he did on Dec 12 he went without telling me what happen and why he gone. A week latter he told me he's in Canada back already and enjoy so much... I was shock and panic why he did to me...what had gone wrong... Brothers and Sisters, on Valentine he treat me to divorce me and also before that he wants all the jewelry that was as gifted for me to be return...my dad told me its okay we'll return it don't worry your safety more important but I was deeply wounded and upset he care about the jewelry than what he has done, he's characters, he's coward and so selfish don't care about his wife... Until today I kept asking my dad did he send any letter because he said he would like to divorce me and I haven't received any thing...I asked him the money that I spend while he's here for ... (more)

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answered 2013-05-11 15:10:49 -0600

khalsa kaur gravatar image

Dear Brothers and sisters, How do I regain and be confident and stay focus presents and future...my dark past keep disturbing me every time when i am studying or at work the evil mind coming and i feel so disappointed and keep asking GuruJI why ...why ...why You did this to me after all the marriage my families was so happy know every body shattered with emotions specially me...why it happen to me why he cheated on me...why he deceived and run away...why Guruji don't want to help me regain my Sikh or as a daughter of Khalsa anymore why guru ji punish me so deeply..why i can't accept and look somebody who is worse then me............Please dear brothers and sister advise me what path or bani should help me heal... Sat Sri Akal

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answered 2013-05-03 00:50:05 -0600

Gurujis Daughter gravatar image

Penji,

I am sorry to hear this. I can understand how hard it is for you. But I am just trying to look at positives. I am glad your parents are so supportive! I am glad you got to see this man's true face early on.. not after 2-3 years or having a child. Penji, I wish all the best things in your life!

Guru ji's paana... is Chardi Kalaa. Everysingle thing that happends in the world.. all accepts Guru ji's Paana.. The cars, houses, trees all have rules which God has created for them, and all walk the way He wants. Houses don't try to move, trees don't try to fly. And because of this, they are in peace. We humans should also try to accept paana and not get wounded with sad situations (I know it is tought penji, I am just trying to tell). Mera baid guru gobinda! My God is my healer. He is the BEST medicine! He is our TRUE husband lord.. This about it penji... who knows how many janams we have had in past and how many husbands we have had.. we don't remember anything. But the True Husband Lord stays! He stays for our support and love forever! Penji, you will get a very caring and loving Gursikh. But make yourself more dedicated to Gurbani and Naam Simran. Everyday, do your nitnem and wear your keski and baana. BE THE TRUE GURU GOBIND SINGH JI's daughter and see how he takes care of you!

Waheguru and sang!

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The question to your "why" is your karm. We all have made reallly bad karams which are effecting us now. You have to accept it, and start to let your past go now. Why stay with sadness if you are going to take bright future ahead! Take Amrit, do simran DAILY with nitnem and ardaas.

Gurujis Daughter gravatar imageGurujis Daughter ( 2013-07-06 17:57:31 -0600 )edit
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answered 2013-04-29 13:16:15 -0600

Nihang Gavinpal Singh Khalsa gravatar image

WAHEGURUJI KA KHALSA WAHEGURUJI KI FATEH

OH SISTER THIS DEAPLY SADENS ME AND WORRIES ME. FIRSTLY NO KHALSA SIKH (ORTHODOX) RULES SAY A WOMANS VOICE CANT BE HEARD THAT A WOMAN CANT SHOUT AT HER LAZY GOOD FOR NOTHING PARTNER.

INFACT IT IS FORBIDDEN FOR A SINGH TO SHOUT AT A WOMAN,BEAT, HIT OR EVEN RAISE A FINGER ON A SINGHNI

YOU ARE A WOMAN AND SO IT IS YOUR JOB TO HOLD THE REIGHNS OF THE MARRIGE AND THE HUSBAND IS THE HORSE.

I SUGGEST YOU DRESS IN FULL BANA 24/7 AND BE FULLY FLEGED WITH OUR SIKHI. SHOW HIM WHAT A KAUR IS SET THE EXSAMPLE SEE HOW HE LIKES THAT THEN. DONT WEAR MAKE UP. TIE A DASTARR AND WHERE A CHUNI THESE ARE THE SYMBOLS THAT YOU ARE DEDICATED TO YOUR GURU ONLY AND THAT A MAN CANT STOP YOU FROM DOING WHAT IS TRUE HE IS YOUR HUSBAND AND MUST LISTEN.

YOUR VOICE WILL BE HEARD

GAIN SELF COURAGE AND RISE UP AGAINST HIM.

SHOW LOVE AND MANNERS YES BUT WHEN SOME ONE NEEDS A KICK IN THE ASS YOU GIVE IT WE ARE SIKHS AND MUST WORK TRUTHFULLY TO EARN A TRUE LIVING IN THIS WORLD.

IF YOU SHOW HIM YOUR GURMUKH WITH YOUR BANA HE WILL BE INSPIRED.

AND ALSO IF YOU WEAR A TURBAN (IF YOU DONT ALLREADY) IT TAKES STRESS AWAY AND YOU ARE ONLY EVER LEFT WITH POSITIVNESS.

LISTEN SISTER.

ARDASS KARO, BANI TE BANA RAKHO, GURSIKH BANO

REMEMBER RAISE YOU VOICE AND BE HEARD

KHALSA FATEH

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answered 2013-04-28 00:10:15 -0600

khalsa kaur gravatar image

Thank you for your thought and kindness for sharing....Its seems very easy to say than to actual do it...i have been doing and trying to forgive him and his family but the evil mind always come and trying to ruin me...i can't understand what is the purpose Guru JI did this to me...why He allow that marriage just like a game for people?

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answered 2013-04-22 13:59:28 -0600

Tigress gravatar image

updated 2013-04-29 12:37:03 -0600

Penji,

What you have described sounds horrible. I'm sorry for what you have been through. I am young and I have not got much wisdom to share. But I just want you to know that I truly hope things get better for you, and hopefully someone will give you better advice than I am going to. I always find that whatever problem I have in life I turn to Waheguru. Sometimes it's practical and easy actions to help solve the problem. Like, tell the truth, share what I have with others. Other times things seem unclear, and I just feel very hurt inside, and weak minded, and emotionally vulnerable. When this happens I feel that the best solution is the remedy for the soul: Naam Simran. It has the most amazing powers that makes everything seem so much clearer and better. Just listening to it, or letting it play during the day or even when you sleep. If you know of any Simran programmes I'd advise you to go, simran with the sangat is always soothing. I have been told reciting Sukhmani Sahib is also helpful.

Sorry I couldn't be of much more use.

Wahegurooo <3

In response to your second post which I am unable to comment upon - all I know is that we must accept God's will. There is so much that happens in this world that cannot be understood, like when someone young passes away for instance. I think Karma may have a role to play also, something that has happened earlier in life or in past lives, coming back to you... One must accept the Guru's hukam and move forward.

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Asked: 2013-04-20 13:34:42 -0600

Seen: 622 times

Last updated: May 11 '13