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how to accept panna and being humble

Dear Brothers and Sister, I was arranged marriage and follow my husband to North America, I from here California. I lived there for 4 months and my husband was saying he dislike living in northern America (Canada) not only living expensive but no life so he himself insist to come here USA. I also informed him its better to stay away from family because too much family involved not good and he said and assure me that everything will be okay...Since we came here he's sister involved in our matter I was working and didn't ask him to find job because he told me once he got his paper work that I sponsored him than he'll work...even it was hard for me but just to make him happy I sacrifice work 40 hours a week.He spend most of the time either to his sister house or watching TV at home nothing else...yet I let it go but it got to far that he for no right and no reason all of the time cursing and bad mouthing my families from no where...every conversation as a husband and wife he acted like a kid either sour face or screaming at me..I got nervous seeing him acted like that, I was grow in the orthodox and religious family that the women can't have higher voice should talk politely and etc. I came back to my parents house not to far from we living even though I went to my parents house they told me I have to solve the problem and you can share the problem but we don't want to know or get involve your marriage matter we can give you advise but not involved that is my parents taught me,,,,where his mom or his sister always listen and support his childishness and not advise him to talk the matter or solve the problem instead encourage him to run away back to Canada...and he did on Dec 12 he went without telling me what happen and why he gone. A week latter he told me he's in Canada back already and enjoy so much... I was shock and panic why he did to me...what had gone wrong... Brothers and Sisters, on Valentine he treat me to divorce me and also before that he wants all the jewelry that was as gifted for me to be dad told me its okay we'll return it don't worry your safety more important but I was deeply wounded and upset he care about the jewelry than what he has done, he's characters, he's coward and so selfish don't care about his wife... Until today I kept asking my dad did he send any letter because he said he would like to divorce me and I haven't received any thing...I asked him the money that I spend while he's here for 6 months, sponsors him, and paid half for the logistic long distance truck to shift his stuffs here last time, should I ask the money back I don't and hate materiliastic but what he did was so low human being should I ask the paper or should I signed the paper first ( even I don't feel comfortable doing it) but I need to know where are we so we basicly just seperated no any more connections through phone nor email.The last email was from him and it was piss me off because he kept saying "If you want to work this marriage" seems I want to work it out why not him? and I also mention instead you said i ruin you and your family you ruin my life how much time i spent at home? and how ofter i go to your sister house did gossiping? than i also tell him not to call my if he want to hurt me and that was email we had. My questions here is what should I do...I still can't accept what Guru Ji had done if we not meant together why we had Oath infornt True Living Guru we all don't believe in divorce its not a game but why its happen. I got panic attack due to under alot of pressure even though our marriage was arranged we never think it was we used to care so much each other when we were in Canada but he changed while with his sister or his mother. How do I accept the Panna (GOD gift) even though its hard to believe or face it and the last one how to forget him by let him go and move on in my life and being humble don't have hatred...yea I still like him but after all what he's done and even older ppl or my families disapprove and feeling deceive and cheated on their daughter its not easy for them and me Dear brother and sister,I really need your help please advise me how to cope and be strong not to think about past