Liking a boy

asked 2013-04-06 22:06:50 -0500

Anonymous

Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh

I like a boy, he's 3 yrs older than me, we have never talked to each other but he knows that I like him. Recently we've been chating on facebook. He's been supper nice to me ... So I decided that I could tell him that I like him... I did but after that he stopped messaging me and talking to me. For a while I've been in depression and foolishly decided to cut myself . My good friend told me to take a hukamnama , so I did but I can't understand gurbani , I don't want to ask my mother because I'm afraid that she will find out why I asked her or that I would forcefully lie to her.the boy I like took Amrit, and I respect that. I have no intention of being in a relationship but I have feelings for him. I want to talk to him face to face but he's never alone at school, I do not want to embarrass him in front of his friend. I don't know what to do anymore ... I like him, he does not. I want to be religious to but I have no idea where to start. Is this wrong of me ?what should I do? Please help me and thank you

Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa, waheguru Ji ki fateh

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answered 2013-04-07 12:47:24 -0500

Tigress
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Waheguru Jee Ka Khalsa! Waheguru Jee Ki Fateh!

Penji,

I'm sorry to hear how you are feeling.

First of all I would like to say that you can translate the Hukamnama on an app you can get on mobile phones called dhur ki bani. If anyone else can point out other translation devices it would be useful?!

Personally I would advise you not to talk to him. At this moment in time, from what you have mentioned about how he stopped talking to you, he is not interested. I know your intentions aren't bad, and you just want to explain yourself. But I think you should leave it for a while. Maybe one say you'll be friends again and you can talk, or it will all be forgotten about. But this guy clearly doesn't know how to handle this kind of thing, and I really think it's best if you just leave it.

Trust me, I have gone through this kind of thing. It's very easy for a young girl to get attached to the idea of someone. Think about it this way, if it's meant to be, it will happen. So you just need to leave it. I'm gonna be honest with you, I wish someone was this honest with me, it would have saved me the heartache. This guy most probably doesn't like you back in the same way. And you can't force someone to like you. I know you really really like him, and you can probably imagine some sort of future. But you have to stop wasting time thinking about him. You will look back on this and think why the hell did I do that?! I did!

Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQvungHnuS0 It will answer all your questions.

In terms of getting into Sikhi that is perfectly fine. But please don't change who you are for some person. There are so many resources online about Sikhi, and youtube vids. Get inspired and then aspire to be a Sikh!

I hope you are no longer cutting yourself. It makes me very sad to hear that. You are a beautiful young girl and one day you will meet someone and you'll know it was meant to be. But first love yourself, and rid yourself of this depression.

Wahegurooo <3

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Thank you very much<3 I can't find any words to show my gratitude for you. The video and app were very helpful. Again Thank you!

JasPinduh ( 2013-04-07 15:01:24 -0500 )edit

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answered 2015-09-20 17:51:42 -0500

anon
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sigh we have all been there at some point. this is what we get for being attached to another human being. allright, obviously since he has not spoken to you, he does not like you, or is confused. either way cutting yourself, and overthinking, is destroying you. why destroy yourself. who is watching your tears and pain? certainly not that guy.

I personally have been in a same situation too, (same thing guy was 3 years older) and I used to self harm too. ultimately, the key is (the solution to all problems) it seems is that become attached to bani. it takes time, and discipline. but become attached to the name of god and his bani. you will begin to realize the truth on your own. ultimate truth: you were born alone, you will die alone, you will not take these relationships with you. get to know your inner self, fill yourself from within, stop seeking pleasure from outside. please just stop. Be strong emotionally, we are all capable of it, trust me. it takes only one guy, if he is the one, he will come back, if not he won't. meanwhile stop hurting yourself :|, not gonna fix anything. - I pray for you

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answered 2015-09-20 07:34:43 -0500

LoveLifeFaith
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Hi, I know this was written a few years ago but I'm going through the same thing now. I'm not really sure what to do so I can't advise you. But I'm trying to talk to the guy I like but when he has least amount of friends around him unroll then I'm leaving him alone to figure himself out. So yeah, if you have any tips please tell me (even though it's been a few years).

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Liking a boy

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