Am I running away
If i chose to erase my past as much as possible (since I have a bad rep now for commiting kam) would God see me as running away from my consequences for my sins?
Will God want me to change my name, house everything about me from the past in order to be good now? I pray that God protects my honour, the honour of my family, to end the suffering of my Brother and Father to end my Mothers endless crying and to erase my past. Everything wrong in my family is due to my actions that lead God to leave my house because I brought in a Muslim boy.
Is this a good decision and path to chose? Will my parents accept that I need to change my name in order to protect their rep? Can the past be erased with the ever flowing pen?