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Need help...in a very tough situation

asked 2019-02-07 23:17:16 -0500

Kaur1504 gravatar image

updated 2019-02-11 10:52:34 -0500

Guruka Singh gravatar image

Waheguru ji ka khalsa ,waheguru ji ki fateh...i am married since last one year ...we enquired about the family...the response was good...their behaviour towards me is gud except for some issues.....but the problem is that they do not stick to their words....now the issue since the beginning was that ...they do not give me the pocket money (as i was newly married and after 3 months i became pregnant i cud not do the job)....we tried to resolve this matter so many times and they agreed but later again they changed their words..they say that servants take the pocket money not daughters in law ..i have a narrow thinking ....after marriage also when i came to my maternal home for the first time ..they gave nothing in my hand and sent me empty handed and when i objected they started having issues like pekke kon lai ke janda h assi lokka ne hun shuru kitta h es age vich ....

and the other issue is that my sis in law always speaks ill words for me whenever i ask for anything to my husband regarding my interests which involves money they ask me to take it from my mom in law... ...she says mummy(pekke) ne paise diye hain wo ni use karti humse mangti rehti hai...apne shauk khud poore karo ...yaha se paisa le ke jayegi mayke degi...FD mein humara naam nahi hai ....maa pyo aaye c minnata karan ki saddi kudi naal vyah kar lo (however THEY raised the issue during roka ki roka vadiya karo maan sammaan hona chaida THEY called for the meeting) Mere relatives jo v de ke jaande ne my mom in law keeps it saying that ohna nu agge vartana hunda hai... is it right ? I agree that they do for me ...but i had these issues which i have mentioned above..they said that hamesha complaints karti rehti h...

And each time when me and my hubby have an arguement in the room (like if i ask him for gifts or we never went for outing alone ...or if i have any. issue about his family) My husband always says i cant live with u i will leave you and immediately goes to his mom due to which we face more problems as the whole family interferes in our matter.....hubby says tu mannu meri family de against bhardi hain...

And now the main issue that led to dispute is that the day i lost my daughter i heard my mom in law speaking against my family....i was hurt badly and the same day i told all this to my husband in the room ...he got angry that sharam nahi andi dehari kudi di death( just after 15 days of when she was born ) hoi te raati tu mannu ehh sabb bol rahi h...kudi da gam nahi h tennu...but i cud nt hear his mom's word and was badly hurt ... (more)

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answered 2019-02-11 04:46:13 -0500

Tarran Singh gravatar image

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh,

So is the first problem is you are struggling with money, because you gave up your job when you became pregnant, and your parents-in-law are not helping you financially? If this is the case, then I understand your trouble because it does not seem easy to nuture an unborn child and have a job. If you are at your mum's house at the moment, does that mean you are okay and she is looking after you for food etc?

For solutions, if you put on a tape of Akhand paath in your house all day long (from Youtube) that is a very good way to start listening to Gurbani. Then you can get blessings from Maharaj and hopefully your situation will improve. You don't even have to listen, just play it in the house somewhere.

I am sorry to hear that you lost your daughter, if this is accurate to what you have said? It is not so good that on such a day your mum-in-law is saying bad things about your family. I wish you well that you can that this situation may improve for you and the nasty words may heal away and you can move on with your life.

Situation does not look so great, regarding you moving away from your husband and losing your things and staying with your mum. But it does not seem like you did much wrong, except 'one moment of anger' as you said. These things happen and we all make mistakes. So it is good to move on and be positive with your own life. There are still happy things for you to look forward to, like your new coming child that you are pregnant with.

If you can stay calm and kindly ask Guru Ji to arrange your affairs, then hopefully things can improve and the family relations can get healed. Guru Maharaj can work any miracle and can solve any trouble. Maybe this would mean mending things with your husband and getting things sorted so can be financially secure and not getting into arguments with your in-laws. If anything was missed my apologies, and anything questions are fine to be asked. Take care and good wishes for your family.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh.

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My husband is not ready totalk to me ...they are making the situation more difficult ...now they think that i dnt have any bond with them thats why i came with my mom to my hometown with my mom....now they are nt contacting me and dnt want me to go back to my in laws place...

Kaur1504 gravatar imageKaur1504 ( 2019-02-11 13:13:52 -0500 )edit

My husband is removing all my pics with him on social media ...he is thinking that i dnt love him...but i called him 100s of time but he is nt ready to talk ....he is blocking me everywhere so that i can not connect with him...h3 is not ready sort things out ...he is not ready to listen to me

Kaur1504 gravatar imageKaur1504 ( 2019-02-11 13:15:40 -0500 )edit

They say that i insulted them in front of the society ...by leaving their house and staying at my mums place since two and a half months ....now they cannot bear this insult....

Kaur1504 gravatar imageKaur1504 ( 2019-02-11 13:22:24 -0500 )edit

"...cannot bear this insult?" When so many have borne so much to carry our Guru through all the tests and trials that time gave them, they cannot bear this? What they are doing is called "emotional manipulation." Do not allow yourself to be manipulated in this way.

Guruka Singh gravatar imageGuruka Singh ( 2019-02-12 11:27:37 -0500 )edit

Thank u so much...your words gave me strength.

Kaur1504 gravatar imageKaur1504 ( 2019-02-13 00:44:44 -0500 )edit

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Asked: 2019-02-07 23:17:16 -0500

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Last updated: Feb 11