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what are crushes viewed as in sikhi

asked 2016-09-13 11:50:20 -0500

Skaur gravatar image

Waheguru ji Khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh

I am 15 and I'm from England. I go to a diverse school in England and I'm the only Sikh girl wearing a dastar. I am trying so hard to follow my rehats and I control all of my thoughts at all times. However for the past year, I know year (way too long) I have had feelings for one of the few Sikh boys in my school. I barely speak to him, but whenever I do it's always about sikhi. My intentions are pure and I never have thought wrong, I merely want to be his best friend who I can talk to when I can. He's my age and he's in most of my lessons and he comes from an amritdhari background, I like him because he has such a friendly personality and he's overall just a nice person . However, even thought I try my ultimate best to control these feelings, I can't help but feel hypocritical and sin ful for what I am feeling. My friends know I like him, and they tease me all the time and it makes me feel so worse. I've been doing my ardas, but I would be so great full to hear what some other more experienced seva daars have to say. It's eating me up inside, but I would never put myself down for someone who hasn't sacrificed anything for me like our guru ji's have. Thank you please advise me if what I'm feeling is wrong and what I can do. I know family and studies and sikhi and God comes first, and it does, but i want to know if what I'm thinking is wrong

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answered 2016-09-13 15:12:01 -0500

Guruka Singh gravatar image

Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji i Fateh!

First of all I want to say how beautiful that you are wearing your dastar! You know that you are Guru Ji's daughter and that you belong to him. I respect your courage and your maturity. At 15, the pressures of peers and media are really powerful. Everyone wants you to be just like them. You are a leader and your commitment inspires me. Waheguru!

Feelings are feelings -- actions are actions. Feelings are inside you. Words and actions affect others. Your feelings are not against Sikhi or against anything for that matter. They are just your feelings. They are not wrong. You'll get teased anyway, if not for this then for something else. That's what happens.

Over 90% of communication is non-verbal. We communicate with each other in subtle ways that are even more powerful than words. If you have feelings for this boy, the odds are that he feels it too. So first, let go of feeling guilty about your thoughts and feelings. You have nothing to be guilty about. You are Maharaj Ji's daughter and he will guide everything if you simply let him.

It's ok to like someone. Just follow this cardinal rule: Never compromise your values for benefits.

You be you -- with courage, joy and grace.

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answered 2016-09-13 11:58:18 -0500

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This post is a wiki. Anyone with karma >100 is welcome to improve it.

Also I would never ever date anyone, I'm way too young and it's not a priority. When I get married, then I get married and that's a long way away. Nor do I want a boyfriend. I just want to know if these feelings are against sikhi

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Asked: 2016-09-13 11:50:20 -0500

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Last updated: Sep 13 '16