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Can’t get over someone

asked 2018-08-15 23:09:05 -0600

Kour gravatar image

updated 2018-08-16 14:06:54 -0600

Guruka Singh gravatar image

I can’t get over soemone. I like him since the past 2 years . It’s like a silent crush . Some obsession. All cause of the eye contacts . That don’t let me sleep . Which I think if I would be able to talk to him would make me calm and wouldn’t be excited/ obsessed etc all the time. Cuz I started to get feelings for this one guy then I get to talk to him then everything went away. I really don’t wanna have a crush on this person . I bet since the past 2 years I think of him 24/7. Probably skipped a few days .. . I did some stuff last year I tried talking to him on social media . Like everyday I would request to follow him then I request them request again tried contacting him etc . I regret all that .one of the really immature things I did was I put some letters in his locker which if I were to read em today gonna sound really dumb and immature . He was a junior at hs last year. Tough year for studies I feel so bad and guilty now that I distracted him . I shouldn’t have done anything. One of his friends told me that he said I’m annoying. He is not willing to talk . He has never texted a girl before . He doesn’t really talk to Girls . Doesn’t seem interested. He is very religious . He is good at studies etc . I don’t know anything else about him . So at the end of the year I put another letter in his locker which technically said I don’t like him anymore . I lied .Last year was messed up . Now I don’t know what to do . All Ik is he is never gonna talk to me ever . So if I tell him that I like him etc and all the truth all that can happen is he starts to kinda stare at me again we make eye contacts again . And the reason I don’t wanna do this is because I don’t wanna annoy or distract him this year . 2 years passed by so fast . He is gonna be at clg next year I can’t just forget him just like that. He was the only reason I got outta bed every morning happily and excitedly that I get to see him . And it’s not like I didn’t try to forget him . I really did . I would not see him at school for 2/3 days but he is still stuck in my brain . And then when I really tried forgetting him . Then after a few days all the feelings everything would come back and I have to struggle 2x times to try forgetting him again . It’s been so long I just can’t . I don’t know what to do

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Kour gravatar imageKour ( 2018-08-15 23:38:19 -0600 )edit

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answered 2018-08-16 02:39:42 -0600

strongKaur gravatar image

In my mind, there’s two ways I see of moving forward here from this obsession. I’m sure there may be more but here is how I see it. One option is to proceed forward with expressing how you feel and facing the reality he may or may not feel the same but having the closure of an answer. The thing is obviously you have tried that before with no response. So that’s not a great option. It shouldn’t be this long dragged out thing of you just staring at each other. That’s not really solving anything. I think that if he had wanted to respond he would have and I’m a little worried about the number of times you tried to pursue this in the past because it sounds like you were kinda harassing him. Now that its been a long time and you feel like he may be interested/things have changed, If you could if you wanted try one last time to talk to him in person for a response, not a letter, social media, or in a way that he doesn’t have to respond- this would be directly going up to him and asking. The other way of going with this is trying to solve the obsession piece. The fact that you feel obsessed is obviously interfering in your life and is a problem. You aren’t sleeping. You don’t even know him very well so maybe you’ve created a fantasy over who he is. You have good reasons for not pursuing this: he is going to college, you are young still, he previously didn’t reply to your requests, and you should both focus on studies. You don’t want to continue to obsess because what will be the reason to get out of bed happily when he goes to college? Have you tried balancing out your mind and body via doing exercise/yoga, and simran, paath, and focusing on that part? Go towards that path instead. I think this is just distracting you from your true path. Doing those activities will help balance out the energy that you are putting into this crush.

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Thank you so much that helped a lot

Kour gravatar imageKour ( 2018-08-16 13:33:21 -0600 )edit

no problem!

strongKaur gravatar imagestrongKaur ( 2018-08-16 14:19:06 -0600 )edit

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Asked: 2018-08-15 23:09:05 -0600

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Last updated: Aug 16 '18