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What am I ?

asked 2015-05-31 00:35:31 -0600

anonymous user


updated 2015-06-20 15:10:12 -0600

gn gravatar image

I can't follow my heart(inner voice) due to phobias and my heart has stopped talking to me. I have a phobia of dating, meeting guys. phobia of being emotionally/physically with someone. Religions talk about you have to get married to be involved with someone. Does that even include meeting other people? If I'm not allowed to fall in love with someone before marriage, why should I even meet guys? I have developed a serious phobia.

I'm having a hard time finding anyone attractive(because I never followed my heart) and can't get married until I do. My parents wants me to get married to a sikh guy, but they are not looking for any, because I get the feeling of that they just don't give a damn about my life as long as I'm trapped in their chains of fear. They have showed me photos of guys but I'm not interested in meeting them because they live in India.

I am 27 and I have never been with anyone, I feel like I missed out many things in life. Sometimes when I try to follow my heart, to do something I'm scared of, my mind ego, the demon jumps in and destroys everything and I always end up being depressed and isolated and very lonely after. I rarely meet people because I'm subconsciously not allowed to go out and meet people,especially not guys.

I can't follow my heart or my mind. My mind always makes wrong decisions, when it comes to my love life, that's what I have learned this far in life. I can't grow out of it and live my life the way I should.

Sometimes I feel that I'm neither a manmukh or gurmukh. What am I? I can't follow my heart or my mind, I'm just following fear and getting more and more isolated,shy and scared of living life.

Please Help me out with some advice, what should I do. I am suffering a lot being in this situation.

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answered 2015-06-01 10:23:04 -0600

Guruka Singh gravatar image

As gn says, you are Guru Ji's daughter. He will arrange your affairs if you let him. Take all this time you spend thinking about your own predicament in life and use it to do seva. Remember: your happiness is inversely proportional to how much time you spend thinking about your own predicament in life.

Now is the time to work on yourself, discipline yourself and elevate yourself.

The first thing is to choose who you hang with. Choose people who up-level you, not people who want you to come down to their level. Love everyone but trust everyone to be who they are! People will not change because you want them to. Being with others who want to work on themselves too is called Sadhsangat. Sadhsangat is based on love and uplifting others, not judging people or tearing them down. Be with people who make you feel good about yourself and who you are.

Second, Learn to meditate. Begin a daily sadhana. If you find it difficult to rise regularly in the amrit vela, start little by little, but whatever you do be steady. Establish your base and make it your daily habit. Stretch, exercise, meditate and do at least Japji Sahib out loud. If you cannot read Gurmukhi, read it in English.

Now is the time. Just start. Develop a habit.

Take care of others and let the Guru take care of you. He will arrange all your affairs, marriage included.

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answered 2015-06-01 06:29:47 -0600

gn gravatar image

updated 2015-06-01 06:30:02 -0600

Waheguru Ji Ka Khasla Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

You are the Gurus daughter.

Just follow what Guru Ji tells us to follow, then our minds/heart will make the right decisions.

Where Sikhs, where meant to learn from our mistakes, carry on with life if you make a mistake learn from it and don't worry about.

If you put full faith in the Guru, then automatically your heart/mind will make decisions which pleases the Guru. You should't be scared, your dad is Guru Gobind Singh Ji he will take care of everything.

Do Ardaas ask for courage and if you want to get married as Guru ji to solve this problem.

If you want to get married there are many many Sikh sikhs to help you. Sikh net have there own Heres another one

Slowly take step to build your confidence, meet people slowly. Don't let this trap you.
The biggest medicine is the Naam, that will cure all our diseases. Read Chaupai Sahib, with the translations will help you become stronger.

Just start engaging with people more. Whether that starts online or meeting people.

I would suggest you see a doctor not saying your ill but they can help to slowly overcome your fears.

Hope you remain in Chardi Kala, and overcome these fears.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

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Asked: 2015-05-31 00:35:31 -0600

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Last updated: Jun 01 '15