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What am I ?

I can't follow my heart(inner voice) due to phobias and my heart has stopped talking to me. I have a phobia of dating, meeting guys. phobia of being emotionally/physically with someone. Religions talk about you have to get married to be involved with someone. Does that even include meeting other people? If I'm not allowed to fall in love with someone before marriage, why should I even meet guys? I have developed a serious phobia.

I'm having a hard time finding anyone attractive(because I never followed my heart) and can't get married until I do. My parents wants me to get married to a sikh guy, but they are not looking for any, because I get the feeling of that they just don't give a damn about my life as long as I'm trapped in their chains of fear. They have showed me photos of guys but I'm not interested in meeting them because they live in India.

I am 27 and I have never been with anyone, I feel like I missed out many things in life. Sometimes when I try to follow my heart, to do something I'm scared of, my mind ego, the demon jumps in and destroys everything and I always end up being depressed and isolated and very lonely after. I rarely meet people because I'm subconsciously not allowed to go out and meet people,especially not guys.

I can't follow my heart or my mind. My mind always makes wrong decisions, when it comes to my love life, that's what I have learned this far in life. I can't grow out of it and live my life the way I should.

Sometimes I feel that I'm neither a manmukh or gurmukh. What am I? I can't follow my heart or my mind, I'm just following fear and getting more and more isolated,shy and scared of living life.

Please Help me out with some advice, what should I do. I am suffering a lot being in this situation.

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updated 2015-06-20 15:10:12 -0600

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What am I ?

I can't follow my heart(inner voice) due to phobias and my heart has stopped talking to me. I have a phobia of dating, meeting guys. phobia of being emotionally/physically with someone. Religions talk about you have to get married to be involved with someone. Does that even include meeting other people? If I'm not allowed to fall in love with someone before marriage, why should I even meet guys? I have developed a serious phobia.

I'm having a hard time finding anyone attractive(because I never followed my heart) and can't get married until I do. My parents wants me to get married to a sikh guy, but they are not looking for any, because I get the feeling of that they just don't give a damn about my life as long as I'm trapped in their chains of fear. They have showed me photos of guys but I'm not interested in meeting them because they live in India.

I am 27 and I have never been with anyone, I feel like I missed out many things in life. Sometimes when I try to follow my heart, to do something I'm scared of, my mind ego, the demon jumps in and destroys everything and I always end up being depressed and isolated and very lonely after. I rarely meet people because I'm subconsciously not allowed to go out and meet people,especially not guys.

I can't follow my heart or my mind. My mind always makes wrong decisions, when it comes to my love life, that's what I have learned this far in life. I can't grow out of it and live my life the way I should.

Sometimes I feel that I'm neither a manmukh or gurmukh. What am I? I can't follow my heart or my mind, I'm just following fear and getting more and more isolated,shy and scared of living life.

Please Help me out with some advice, what should I do. I am suffering a lot being in this situation.