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asked 2015-06-22 19:19:18 -0600

Bjoup gravatar image

I was born a Sikh, but grew up doing things a Sikh should not do. For example, cutting hair, drinking, eating meat. There are many things that I grew up doing because I was raised that way. There are things that I have grown used to that I can't see myself giving up due to family expectations.

Example: cutting my hair. I kept my hair uncut for about 3 years, and my family would complain. They kept telling me to cut it. There is an expectation to look tidy.

I recently stopped eating meat, and this was going well until I came into some money problems, and unfortunately occasionally had to eat the food my family ate. They bought some vegetarian food, but they mainly eat meat. My local temple is a couple hours away, and I can't drive.

I'm not sure if this question is right for this site but I just need advice.

I want to learn more about Sikhism, but my Punjabi is pretty bad, and I've grown used to and am expected to live a certain way. I feel like it's just a case of picking and choosing what aspect of Sikhism suits people best and forgetting the rest, and it shouldn't be like that. Would this ever be considered OK? I have to admit this is so hard.

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answered 2015-06-23 07:40:52 -0600

gn gravatar image

updated 2015-06-24 06:02:32 -0600

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Two years ago I used to do the same eat meat, cut my hair and do things Guru Ji would not approve of.
But know I've been vegetarian for nearly a year and my Sikhi has gotten much stronger than what it was before.

My family is the same as yours. My dad drinks and cuts his hair accept on his head. And the want me to be more "modern" even though it would mean going against what Guru Ji has taught us.

My Punjabi is bad, but I realised that doesn't make a difference. I read the romanised translation of bani, and hopefully soon learn Gurmukhi.

Bang on, you can't pick what aspects of Sikhi you want to follow. You have to follow even the stuff you don't like but after that becomes sweet.

My advice would be to take small steps and slowly build up your Sikhi.

Start with Mool Matar and learn the meaning and do simran theres many videos/audios on YouTube and Soundcloud to get you into it. Start with 5 minutes and slowly build up.

Check out these Naam simran audios:


Acapella Jatha
Check out Bhai Jagpal Singh Ji

Sikh 2 inspire
GurSevak Jatha

There are many places to help English speaking Sikhs:

-The best imo is Basics of Sikhi, they have a YouTube channel and they have a lot of content that will help you.. Check out their playlists

-Bhai Sukha Singh UK

- Sikh 2 Inspire

As your getting into Sikhi check out Sikh 2 Inspire, Bhai Sukha Singh UK and the daily Hukamnama found on Sikh net. There should be a thing at the top that says English, download it and Bhai Sukha Singh Ji does a Katha in english.

Learn about Guru Ji and the Gursikhs. Check out this link

Also always ask questions it's a good way to learn. Just ask them here or on other sites.

Make sure you hangaround with Sikhs. If you cant do theres online forums like Sikh">Sangat you can ask questions on their they will give better answers than me.
SikhNet also have their own

Sikhi ain't easy but key is to take small steps Dhan Guru Amar das Ji says in Anand Sahib:

The lifestyle of devotees' is different as they follow the difficult path of Bhagtee: worship – recitation of His Name.

They give up the love of foods: overeating, greed, ego, desires, and do not talk much: stop demanding, keep reciting the Name of God.

The path they take is sharper than a Khandaa and finer than a hair i.e. very difficult. (Khandaa - Two-edged straight sword. To worship God is very difficult)

Those who by the grace of the Guru (Master) have given up dependence on themselves (Surrender to God), His fragrance settles down in their bodies. (His fragrance – Those who become selfless and rely on God, His Name gets set in ...

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answered 2015-07-07 19:20:55 -0600

GRai gravatar image

updated 2015-07-07 19:33:05 -0600

Others influence us only if we let them to. And what influences us depend on our priorities.

Drinking has negative effects on our brain. And when brain is messed up we can not perceive, process information properly. And Sikhi is all about learning, from Guru Granth Sahib, relating the Gurbani with our life. Brain under the influence of substance can not do that.

Physical Sikhi appearance is important but this is not the only thing important in Sikhi. As Sikhi is not something solely about rituals. Sikh's literal meaning in english is 'learn'. And Sikhs learn from Guru Granth Sahib.

Previous answer has already provided many resources. There is another one which I personally like. The following site has entire Guru Granth Sahib in Punjabi, Hindi, & English with translation. This site is pretty good and helpful. The link to site is as follows

Read few lines daily from Guru Granth Sahib, along with their meaning. Find someone with whom you can discuss Gurbani. Discussion is very important for learning. Hopefully you will soon start looking at life in a different way. Sincere study of Gurbani will help you develop your internal self and will make you more strong.

And a thing which I always wonder about "Plants are living organisms too, but we still eat them, why we never say that do not kill plants just because we are hungry"

Any questions, comments are appreciated, I am open to further discussion.

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Asked: 2015-06-22 19:19:18 -0600

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Last updated: Jul 07 '15