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unplanned pregnancy

asked 2014-10-09 07:54:03 -0600

anonymous user


updated 2014-10-09 16:58:58 -0600

Guruka Singh gravatar image

my daughter was dating a Sikh here in US on work visa, he got her pregnant and when she refused an abortion he said he wants nothing to do with her or baby that he would be shunned by his religion and family. We took baby to meet him against his wishes and he held baby kissed him and asked many questions, then asked not to see him again because it hurt his heart and that he is choosing his religion over the baby. How is this true? I thought Sikhism is about equality and love how can a baby be shunned because his mother is not a Sikh and they are unmarried, he said he would never be allowed to marry her?

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answered 2014-10-18 07:20:05 -0600

Cloud gravatar image

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh.

I just want to personally clarify a couple of points. I don't see those things as being true. Sikhism is about equality and love, it's just that not everyone follow it, because it's hard to clean your mind and heart by yourself everyday.

When I read this question it looks to me that this guy is just using the religion as an excuse/escapegoat since he probably knows that most american's lack knowledge about sikhism.

Let me explain what I mean: He's using the religion as an excuse. I personally think in his case it's not the religion he doesn't want to clash, but he doesn't want to clash with his family's wishes. He doesn't want to lose face. Losing face in India is like "social suicide", like leaking nude pictures on the internet. Gossip goes like wildfire and he'll have to deal with consequences and things can get very ugly for him not taking responsibility and for his family.

It becomes extra important not losing face when going to another country like US,Canada, UK, because it becomes the most important thing you can bring with you.

Not loosing face is thicker then blood. He wants to wants to keep his face, or in other words his Namus. This article is very interesting. I recommend that you study it further for more understanding.


If you ask what the "religion" says: In SGGS, Japji sahib there is a phrase (just like in the bible), that says "What you sow, you shall reap".

image description Is Premarital Sex OK For Non-Amritdharis? - YouTube Video

Basically what's he's saying is this:

  1. Everything that you do has repercussions. It comes back to you one way or another.
  2. You cannot escape the consequences of your actions. What you do comes back to you.
  3. You will see the long-term effects of your actions.
  4. If you make them mistakes, take responsibility for them and learn from your mistakes.

So about explaining the things above of not following your religion, perhaps it's the same thing when he met the baby and said that his heart hurt. And then he say's that it's the religion that keeps him at bay.

It can be true that it is the religion that he doesn't want to break, in that case I personally think he and I have diffrent perspectives on following your heart with sikhi.

Here is a video which explains it more about religion and following the heart. If you skip the New Age talk, you'll get the overall picture. Small things you need to know. Piscean age = Before 2012. Aquarian Age, after 2012.

image description What are We Really Looking For in These Tough Times? - YouTube Video

I hope that all of you will find peace. Your Namus won't go with you in your next life.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh.


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answered 2014-10-19 07:14:52 -0600

Deep gravatar image

That boy is not a true sikh, he is a dual faced person,he has learnt a wrong lesson of sikhism and spreading the same ,leaving a girl pregnant is a sign of cowardness and lust, this shows that he wasn't able to control his lust and then made the girl pregnant and then now he is bringing his religion as a defence to his mistake ,

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answered 2016-07-18 02:41:27 -0600

Jaspreet Singh Artist gravatar image

he was never following Gurmat because if he read and follow 52 hukams Given by Guru Gobind Singh ji , then should not have any physical relation before marriage . because Guru Mahraj ordered every sikh to not to have any Physical relationship before Marriage , he is just using it as excuse . he Should remember Guru Hukam before doing anything . i can't do much to solve your problem but i want to Apologise as sikh because some other Sikh hurts your feeling and your daughters feelings .

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Asked: 2014-10-09 07:54:03 -0600

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Last updated: Jul 18 '16