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Family problems please help me for god’s sake

asked 2019-05-10 12:02:10 -0500

Kaurwmk gravatar image

updated 2019-05-13 10:44:47 -0500

Guruka Singh gravatar image

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, waheguru ji ki Fateh. I’m a 17 years old girl from patiala punjab, india and I will turn 18 this year. Please help me out and please for god’s sake read all this and help me. I request all my veeras and behenjis who are guru ji’s son and daughter to help me out. My family’s financial situation is not good and my dad doesn’t work. My mom is now a homemaker because she had met with an accident which caused her leg somehow a bit damaged.i always dreamt to go abroad after class 12 and my dad used to say okay we will send u. He hard drinks a lot and shouts and yells on my mom and me every single day. We become so tensed. Now we don’t have money but He says he will send but he doesn’t work for this and just procrastinates every work. I wanted to go abroad and earn money so that I can make my mom happy and give her a good lifestyle by calling her there with me once I settle but now I’m afraid that if I leave my dad might yell again on her, beat her and it makes me cry. I’m so sensitive and so is my mom. Please help me with path and guru’s sayings that either his drinking habits go away. My dad has wrong affairs with other ladies also . This situation always rises fights at home. My mom feels sad about this. I’m a single daughter. I’m a sardaarni. Please help me I’m very very sad. I want to go abroad but be sure my mom is safe here so please suggest me path so that i can get out of this mess and my dad stops all wrong habits. Drinks donot affect his health a lot. All guru Gobind Singh Ji’s sona and daughter are requested to understand my situation and help me out to sort it. I’m sure God will bless you and your family with prosperity and happiness ahead. Thanks a lot . Waiting for a reply soon.

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answered 2019-05-16 00:34:17 -0500

strongKaur gravatar image

updated 2019-05-23 14:37:35 -0500

I’ve been reluctant to reply just because I feel like this type of situation is so tricky to someone offer advice because I don’t want to inadvertently do harm. I think it is an amazing dream to go study. Is there any way of her possibly working even with her leg injury? I suspect that may also help her situation if she was able to get out of the house for a bit of the day and build up money. In order for your dad to really address his drinking problems he needs to realize there is a problem that needs to be addressed and the negative effects its had on his life, and find out why he drinks and what that drinking does for him (often its to cover some pain people have experienced). It does not sound like he is at that stage right now. I think you also need to think about your own wellness, and I understand your concerns about leaving your mom behind and they are legitimate. I don't know your dad or whether the violence would escalate in your absence. I don’t really have an answer for that. I hope that someone else is able to help you further. I just wanted to offer some words of support so you know you aren’t alone. We are here with you.

UPDATE: Hey, there wasn't enough room to leave a comment at the bottom. I will do my best to help. In places like where I live we have police, social workers and children’s help lines who would be able to assist, however I’m not so sure about India and I doubt you have those resources available. The other place people get help here is doctors, but I also don’t know if that’s possible for you or if you would have to pay. I would look into those options as there might be a place for you to call for help and support. Do you have any positive relatives, etc. people that you could stay with? It’s important for you to stay involved with these types of good relationships and friendships so you have supports for your own health while you are trying to figure things out. It would be nice to get involved at your local Gurdwara sahib and do sewa, and get to know the sangat there. They could be a source of major support. I know you must be scared and discouraged. None of this is your fault. You aren’t responsible for your dad’s behaviours. Of what I know, getting away is a difficult situation as it is usually the most high risk for an abusive person to exercise their control, and therefore the most dangerous time. It is important to make a safety plan for you and your mum in the case that the violence gets really dangerous for you and you need to leave. This would involve gathering ... (more)

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This means a lot. I didn’t receive any reply and I was so down owing to this. Moreover i don’t know what can pull me and my mom out of this situation. His habits are so bad that he beats my mom, scolds me and what not. Everyday fights have ruined my life. Please help wjkk wjkf

Kaurwmk gravatar imageKaurwmk ( 2019-05-22 09:33:16 -0500 )edit

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Asked: 2019-05-10 12:02:10 -0500

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Last updated: May 23 '19