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I am in love with a Punjabi boy who is athiest

asked 2018-06-18 13:37:27 -0600

Rkaur42 gravatar image

updated 2018-06-18 17:05:05 -0600

strongKaur gravatar image

I am 23 years old Sikh Girl. I am in love with a 23 yrs old Punjabi boy who is an athiest and we haven't met yet.We became friends on social media site but next month we are going to meet. I am deeply in love with him but i dont know whether he actually loves me or he is doing this out of lust.. He cares for me a lot but he always ask me about kissing on the very first meeting. Please help me i am very much confused as i can't see my future without him. What should i do?

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answered 2018-06-18 16:25:59 -0600

strongKaur gravatar image

updated 2018-06-18 17:55:17 -0600

I think you should trust your intuition that something is not right and he doesn’t feel for you what you feel for him. Do other people know about this relationship, like your parents? It is far safer to meet in a place where you are around others- like in public, and where there are people you know, like in a group. If no one knows, then you should consider why this is a secret.

The other thing to think about is this. You are Sikh and he is Punjabi but atheist, I think this is something to think about, whether you have the same values. Whether you would raise your children the same. To believe in One God, fully with devotion in your heart is completely different than not to believe in God’s existence at all. I’m not saying it can’t happen, but just saying it is something to consider- what values and beliefs do you carry and how do they differ- like do you have the same life purpose and what are your life goals. Also you haven’t met yet… that’s a big thing. It is easy to lust for someone, love takes moving together through tough times and conflict, and loving the imperfections. Lust, that feeling that relies on sexual energy and one’s looks, does not last. Giani Sant Singh Ji Maskeen Ji writes, “There is pride in sex enjoyment. The fulfillment of passion is for the fulfillment of pride. There is ‘I’ present but not ‘You’. In love there is a relationship between ‘I’ and ‘You’. Not only ‘I’ but ‘You’ also exists. Such a conception gives birth to love. Where ‘I’ ceases to exist, only ‘You’ remains, there the flavor of devotion springs up.” Personally for me, love and the concept of love vs lust as understood through Gurbani and what it means to have a relationship or Anand Karaj was transformed after I started understanding my own path as a Sikh. I know this might not be true for you and how you see love though, but I wanted to mention it.

He might care for you a lot, but he also should respect you and if you don’t want a physical relationship yet he shouldn’t be making you uncomfortable by pushing for one. I just don’t want you to get stuck in a dangerous situation meeting someone you only met online- so if you do meet, make sure it’s a public place. Seriously consider having him meet you in front of your parents. it will give you an idea of how serious this is for him. Trust your instincts above all! If he is pushing you to do something you don’t want to, leave. I know you will be very sad and hard not to see him. I know that you are now attached and having a hard time thinking about the possibility of not living without him, but it is possible ... (more)

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Thank you so much Mam.. This is going to help me a lot in future.. I will consider all the things you said..this is like an eye opner for me:)

Rkaur42 gravatar imageRkaur42 ( 2018-06-19 00:49:21 -0600 )edit

no problem bhenji!

strongKaur gravatar imagestrongKaur ( 2018-06-19 01:30:58 -0600 )edit

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Asked: 2018-06-18 13:37:27 -0600

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Last updated: Jun 18 '18