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Asking Forgiveness?

asked 2018-06-04 23:22:24 -0600

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updated 2018-06-05 15:44:03 -0600

Guruka Singh gravatar image

WJKK WJKF The main point of this question is to ask if it is ok to apologize even if you aren't wrong. Now I understand why that would be a dumb question but let me explain! My parents are already very upset with me because I've fallen in love with someone from a lower caste. I don't believe in the caste system and they shouldn't either because all of us have taken Amrit. This past Sunday, I was doing Seva at the Gurdwara with a few of my friends when some random boys came and stood next to us. They weren't doing anything (no seva/ just talking and laughing). My dad came up to me and said go away from here just stop doing Seva. I asked why amd he said "because of the boys". I told my dad to tell the bous to go away since they weren't doing anything while my friends and I were runnjng around doing Seva wherever we could. At first he said ok and he told the guys to leave but he was starting to get mad at me. Then he came up to me again and told me to leave. I asked why and he said "because I said so". I said no, I'm not doing anything wrong so I'm not leaving. At this point, he was at the verge of yelling. He said" are you my parent or am I your parent. Stop doing Seva and leave or I will leave." I stood firm amd said I'm not leaving because I didn't do anything wrong. He left then came to check if I was still there. He saw me still doing Seva and he got really mad and decided to just drop everything and go home. My sister called him so he could come back and pick us up. In the car he yelled and cussed at me (along with my mother) . I didn't yell back, I tried to calmly explain how I wasn't wrong. He said "how many boys will I stop from doing Seva (although those guys weren't doing Seva. The committee members will get mad at me. " I believe that my "dad" should have taken my side instead of leaving and being afraid of what people would say. Ifbhe supports me, nobody will say anything. Plus everybody else is happy and praises me for doing Seva, it's only my parents who freak out. Guys will stare at girls whether they do Seva or not. Instead of stopping me from doing Seva, they should stop perverted guys, regardless of how many there are. I refuse to apologize because in this case, I'm not wrong. I don't give fake apologies. My parents are threatening to kick me out of the house amd haven't spoken to me ever since. All they do is cuss me out indirectly. I feel like apologizing will make them feel ... (more)

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answered 2018-06-05 15:50:12 -0600

Guruka Singh gravatar image

Gurfateh,Beta. Life is not about who is right and who is wrong. It is about the grace, kindness, courage and compassion we share with each other. You cannot resolve this situation by digging in your heels and insisting that you are correct and your dad is incorrect. Before anything can move, you must create a mutual space of trust and then you must communicate from the heart, not the head. The head will not work here. That means you must open your heart and create a space for relaxed communication. Let that be your first goal. The next steps will unfold from there.

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Asked: 2018-06-04 23:22:24 -0600

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Last updated: Jun 05 '18