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what is the meaning of marriage in Sikhism,

asked 2017-09-30 21:28:19 -0500

sanjlon gravatar image

updated 2017-10-04 12:19:11 -0500

Guruka Singh gravatar image

The 4 Lawas and how does one incorporate the message of the Bani in a person's marriage? I see so many videos of Mixed Sikh marriages? Are these men and women who are Sikh or Amrithari Sikh quite happy to give up on their own kind and marry out of the Sikhs? What is the concept of children ina Sikh marriage? 2 children or 1 then full stop? and is there any casual sex involved? Or I was once told by a Hare Krishna Devotee that they only do that to have children and then stop? And how is it that some Sikh families I know of some Sikh sections in the scoiety still having children when they have children at University? HELP...please? Is it against Sikhism to marry someone who is 20 yrs younger? Help? Older Sikh and divorced women looking for the ideal man, the man with big house, no mother/father relatives etc. with lots of money for travelling abroad and paying for all the luxuries, and what are 48 years old widowed or divorced women (unfortunately due no fault of their own!) looking for in life with a child or 2?

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answered 2017-09-30 21:44:26 -0500

strongKaur gravatar image

The Laavan are more than just about physical marriage of man and woman but explain marriage of mind to God. First laav is about doing the actions of remembering God, going to Gurdwara, praying, etc. Second: listening to Anhad Bani. Third: becoming detached (letting go of attachment), Fourth: union with God. This bani explains the whole purpose of our life. There are many great kathas on incorporating these into marriage. The most important thing is to put Guru first in marriage.

As for people who marry outside of Sikhi, yes obviously if they are marrying outside of Sikhi then they are happy to be marrying outside of Sikhi, that’s their choice. Concept of children- no rule on how many. Why would there be? That’s up to God. And no, having sex isn’t just for procreation. I don’t think there’s any rules about marrying younger. But culturally I bet people would judge.

I don’t understand the last part, are you looking or are you trying to ask something? Because there’s a lot more to look for in a relationship than a big house and money. Guruka Singh said in one of his videos- devotion of the heart for God is important. Is your devotion the same as your partner?

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Excellent answer when a person starts to go on the level of mera Preetam mera Partner? what more can I say? Jis Milleya maan howe anand usey Satgur Kahiyeh! Meroy sundar kahoon mille kith Galli?

sanjlon gravatar imagesanjlon ( 2017-10-03 17:54:47 -0500 )edit

beautiful shabad. thanks for sharing. I've listened to kathas and read books about laavan so i'm learning lots about it.

strongKaur gravatar imagestrongKaur ( 2017-10-04 00:43:38 -0500 )edit

answered 2017-10-04 12:19:13 -0500

Guruka Singh gravatar image

Lavan is the marriage of two souls. It is soul to soul, not personality to personality or body to body. It is ONE soul in two bodies. Anything else is not true marriage. In marriage the karmas are ground out by sticking together and working through everything together. When two become one with the One in the Sadhsangat, that is the true Lavan. Here is a new English translation of the Lavan.

First Laav: Har-i pahalarri laav parvirti karam drirraia bali raam jio. In the first round of the marriage ceremony you make a firm commitment to family life, in the presence of Beloved Ram.

Baani brahma ved dharma drirrhu paap tajaaia bali raam jio The Gurbani contains the Dharma of Brahm as in the Vedas and it removes all separation from God, in the presence of Beloved Ram

Dharam drirrhu har-i naam dhiaavhu smriti naam drirraaia. Dharma is in the Name of Hari. Meditate on the Name as taught in the Smritis.

Satigur gur poora aaraadhahu sabh kilvikh paap gavaaia. The True Guru is perfect and removes your separation from the One.

Sahj anand hoaa vaddbhaagi man-i har-i har-i meetthaa laaia. It is your destiny to live in peace and bliss and love the Naam. Hari, Hari is sweet to me.

Jan kahai Nanak laav pahli aarambh kaaj rachaaia. Servant Nanak says that the first round begins the marriage ceremony.

Second Laav: Har-i doojarri laav satigur purakh milaaia bali raam jio. In the second Round, feel the sweetness of the True Guru in the presence of Beloved Ram

Nirbhau bhai man hoe haumai mail gavaaia bali raam jio. As you go beyond fear, your ego dies in the presence of Beloved Ram.

Nirmal bhau paaia har-i gun gaaiaa har-i v-ekhai raam hadoor-e. In your innocence, the qualities of Hari fill you. The One lives within you.

Har-i aatam raam pasaaria suaami sarab rahiaa bhrpoor-e. The same Hari that is in your soul is inside of everything.

Antar-i baahar har-i prabh eko mil-i har jan mangal gaa-e. Inside and out Hari is One. Hari dyes me crimson.

Jan Nanak dooji laav chalaai anhad sabad vajaa-e. Servant Nanak says that in the Second Round the sound of the universe is heard.

Third Laav: Ha r-i teejarri laav man-i chaau bhaiaa bairaagia bal-i ram jio. In the Third Round the mind blooms with love in the presence of Beloved Ram.

Sant janaa har-i m-el har-i paaia vaddbhaagia bali raam jio. Because our great destiny is so written, we are with the saints of Hari in the presence of Beloved Ram.

Nirmal har-i paaia har-i gun gaaia mukh-i boli har-i baani. Hari, the Pure One, is experienced by speaking Hari’s bani.

Sant janaa vaddbhaagi paaia har-i kathiai akath kahaani. The saints are destined to experience Hari and hear the story which lies beyond words.

Hirdai har-i har-i har-i dhun upji har-i japiai mastak bhaag jio. Meditating with Hari, Hari, Hari in our hearts we realize the great destiny written on our foreheads ... (more)

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Thank you so much for sharing this Babaji!

sanjlon gravatar imagesanjlon ( 2017-12-05 18:22:58 -0500 )edit

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Asked: 2017-09-30 21:28:19 -0500

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Last updated: Oct 04 '17