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Moving on, letting go

asked 2012-04-20 23:26:54 -0600

anonymous user


updated 2012-04-20 23:34:51 -0600

Hello Everyone,

I read some of the questions/answers here and found them really insightful. I thought I would share my dilemma with you too and hopefully get the answer I need to hear.

I know this is going to sound like the repetitive "girl likes boy" story and the truth is, it is but just try to hear me out! I listened to Guruka Singh's talk on relationships a few years ago and it really spoke to me. I loved the message and it made so much sense to me. I tried to live by it. I focused on getting to know myself by meditation and reflection(by writing in my journal). It was wonderful. I was getting to know myself - my spiritual self, my intellectual self and just my overall being but then I lost track. One of my friends started to show a romantic interest in me. He was very kind and it seemed like his caring was genuine. I fell for it and started to really like him. There were the initial "sparks" and everything seemed perfect when we were around each other. We didn't start dating because of our values but we did grow an emotional attachment. As soon as we got over our "smitten" phase, the reality hit. We are both of different backgrounds (culture, religion, etc) and it would never work out. We decided we had to move on. The problem is he has moved on but I haven't been able to. I keep thinking about the past and it is so difficult for me to forget the feelings. What will help?

I try to keep reminding myself of the reality and that usually helps, but every once in a while the feeling comes back and leaves me feeling so empty and sad inside. I just want to let go completely. What can I do? I tried to meditate but I have lost all focus. My mind keeps wandering everywhere like never before. It's pathetic.

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answered 2012-04-22 23:23:40 -0600

abcd gravatar image

Dear sister, I totally feel your pain. I was in a relationship for 9 years. In fact it would be 10 years this year in few months. In my case our religion, caste, social status, educational background, everything was compatible. Yet our parents disapproved. We both didn't want to go ahead with marriage if either of out parents were to object but since we were both professionally sound we didn't think it was possible. But there is something called "destiny" perhaps. I go through this cycle every single day, sometimes twice in a day.. it starts like praying and promising to be strong and think positive, than being indifferent (kind of struggling to suppress my mind from going back into memories of past) then relapsing into depressive mode, wanting him back, praying constantly and even questioning God, then i again give into destiny.. explain myself that i have to let it go and let God himselve solve my problem and meditate on true God. I repeat this almost every day and I wonder if Ill ever be able to let go. On the other hand my ex has already moved on. So it hurts me even more to see it was so easy for him but what can we do right? Sometimes I just stare at a quotation by Buddha that is to not to dwell in the memories of past, not to dream about future, but to concentrate on the present. This thought always helps me to let go for that moment when I try to focus on this quote but other than that I think just consciously letting go is the practice we must do every day and meditate more often. I just thought I'd share my experience with you. Though I know its not of much help. Sometimes, its good to know you are not the only one dealing with this. Guru Ang Sang.

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Asked: 2012-04-20 23:26:54 -0600

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Last updated: Apr 22 '12