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Feelings of hopelessness

asked 2017-02-16 13:17:31 -0600

Gxd777 gravatar image

updated 2017-03-05 23:58:47 -0600

strongKaur gravatar image

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh I am a senior in high school which means college applications. I applied to my abosolute dream school. I have desired to go to this school for four years. I fantasized every single day. When I visited the campus, I almost cried because it was so beautiful. All of my clothes represent that university. I am a very bright student. I am on top of my class and I participate in a lot of after school activities. Every single day I pray to Waheguru Ji to grant my wish to attend this school. Yesterday when I got the email, I immediately started crying from panic. I began to have an anxiety attack because I was so nervous. I then began doing Simran and Kirtan. After I felt better, I decided to open it. It said I was waitlisted. I know this could have gone worse in which I could have been rejected but this hurt me so much. I spent the last four years of life with 3 hours of sleep because of school and I worked so hard for this day. I am so tired of working extremely hard and not getting the desired result. I know all that happens is in Waheguru Ji's hukam. I trust Him. But it is so hard to have that mentality in such a sorrowful state. I feel like I let everyone down. But most importantly, I let myself down. I cried so much last night while listening to Kirtan, asking Waheguru Ji why he would allow his devotee to see such a hard time. I've busted my butt these past years and I had so many personal problems that interfered. It's not fair. Why would Waheguru Ji instill this passion in me to attend such a great university and then make me waitlisted? I know everything happens for a reason but I truly am so hurt. I've been doing nothing but crying. I have not even ate. I only had one wish... I never asked Waheguru Ji for anything else but to fulfill this one wish. Now I have to wait till June to find out if I get off the waitlist. I am grateful that I am in fact on the waitlist but I deserve so much more because of how much work I put into high school. Please help! Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

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answered 2017-02-17 17:41:31 -0600

sanjlon gravatar image

Paji dont just think that the school or college of your choice will give you sucess, people get up in life from nothing, I respect your hard work, i did the same but my education never helped get a job or a career, so we really dont know what God wants, we try and keep trying, relax abit and prepare yourself for options, listen to shabad and kirtan find peace. Listen to nice soothing kirtan it will help and do Simran.

take care sanj.

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answered 2017-02-23 01:26:45 -0600

strongKaur gravatar image

It’s always heartbreaking to lose your dream and you are allowed to be sad about it right now. Your hard work and sacrifice was not wasted- you learned a work ethic and discipline that you will carry with you for life. As for your emotions, use Gurbani to speak to the mind. Cry while you listen and read and let out the sadness, as you have been doing. Keep doing simran and kirtan. Keep doing simran and kirtan out of love for God. God gives us our life breath, this human life, the chance to meet Him in this life, a million gifts. Do not to let this lost opportunity in your life let your faith waver or drift. Talk to someone, do art, or kirtan, or whatever, but let it out. Let out the pain, the sadness, the disappointment.

You are going to be okay after this- why? you are a hard worker, dedicated, ambitious. You will find another way to get to where you need to go if you end up not getting a spot off the waitlist. Maybe the people you are meant to meet, the things you are meant to do in your life just weren’t at this school. Maybe God is sending you in a different direction for a reason, follow it. Do not let your happiness depend on whether or not you get into this school. Dig deep and find what God is telling you, find within yourself what you can use to move forward. Take care of your body- allow it to sleep, eat, exercise. It sounds like those things have been lacking because you have put all energy into school. I know what that’s like because I have done the same in the past, but our minds do not function well when our bodies are not taken care of.

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Asked: 2017-02-16 13:17:31 -0600

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Last updated: Feb 23 '17