Feelings of hopelessness
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh I am a senior in high school which means college applications. I applied to my abosolute dream school. I have desired to go to this school for four years. I fantasized every single day. When I visited the campus, I almost cried because it was so beautiful. All of my clothes represent that university. I am a very bright student. I am on top of my class and I participate in a lot of after school activities. Every single day I pray to Waheguru Ji to grant my wish to attend this school. Yesterday when I got the email, I immediately started crying from panic. I began to have an anxiety attack because I was so nervous. I then began doing Simran and Kirtan. After I felt better, I decided to open it. It said I was waitlisted. I know this could have gone worse in which I could have been rejected but this hurt me so much. I spent the last four years of life with 3 hours of sleep because of school and I worked so hard for this day. I am so tired of working extremely hard and not getting the desired result. I know all that happens is in Waheguru Ji's hukam. I trust Him. But it is so hard to have that mentality in such a sorrowful state. I feel like I let everyone down. But most importantly, I let myself down. I cried so much last night while listening to Kirtan, asking Waheguru Ji why he would allow his devotee to see such a hard time. I've busted my butt these past years and I had so many personal problems that interfered. It's not fair. Why would Waheguru Ji instill this passion in me to attend such a great university and then make me waitlisted? I know everything happens for a reason but I truly am so hurt. I've been doing nothing but crying. I have not even ate. I only had one wish... I never asked Waheguru Ji for anything else but to fulfill this one wish. Now I have to wait till June to find out if I get off the waitlist. I am grateful that I am in fact on the waitlist but I deserve so much more because of how much work I put into high school. Please help! Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh
