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It’s always heartbreaking to lose your dream and you are allowed to be sad about it right now. Your hard work and sacrifice was not wasted- you learned a work ethic and discipline that you will carry with you for life. As for your emotions, use Gurbani to speak to the mind. Cry while you listen and read and let out the sadness, as you have been doing. Keep doing simran and kirtan. Keep doing simran and kirtan out of love for God. God gives us our life breath, this human life, the chance to meet Him in this life, a million gifts. Do not to let this lost opportunity in your life let your faith waver or drift. Talk to someone, do art, or kirtan, or whatever, but let it out. Let out the pain, the sadness, the disappointment.

You are going to be okay after this- why? you are a hard worker, dedicated, ambitious. You will find another way to get to where you need to go if you end up not getting a spot off the waitlist. Maybe the people you are meant to meet, the things you are meant to do in your life just weren’t at this school. Maybe God is sending you in a different direction for a reason, follow it. Do not let your happiness depend on whether or not you get into this school. Dig deep and find what God is telling you, find within yourself what you can use to move forward. Take care of your body- allow it to sleep, eat, exercise. It sounds like those things have been lacking because you have put all energy into school. I know what that’s like because I have done the same in the past, but our minds do not function well when our bodies are not taken care of.