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How do i get over feeling unfulfilled

asked 2016-10-05 23:54:11 -0600

strongKaur gravatar image

updated 2016-10-09 02:50:57 -0600

I have a new problem from the last couple of months that I never had before- there are certain times of the day (usually when I'm studying or in between tasks), I feel like my life is unfulfilled.

I used to be a workaholic. I filled up my life with school because I was afraid of failure. I thought if I didn’t work myself to the bone I wouldn’t do well, so I made it my #1 priority. Due to some serious stressors/other stuff, i ended up needing a break from school which was really good because i was already very sick from the anxiety. I refocused my life and got better. My priority is now my health, and working towards union with Waheguru. When I spend time at the gurdwara, doing simran, kirtan, prayers, etc. I am whole and fulfilled. My spirituality and health are better than they have been in my whole life... yet I am not happy. My schoolwork requires concentration so I can’t really focus and listen to paath at the same time. A part of me is saying that this emptiness is the fact that my work isn’t my life- so when my body is tired and wants to sleep, my mind says- “no keep working!” But i know that its wrong, so i am sticking by trying to focus on what my body needs.

Maybe it’s the fact that I love being around people, but my close friends have moved away and the rest are workaholics like I was. I just feel really tired/run down from doing this day after day- I wake up in the morning and i'm not excited about the day, although i do a prayer of thanks to God. I'm not really looking forward to anything unless it's sunday or wednesday and i get to go to the gurdwara and sit in sangat. lately i've been going every evening to listen to kirtan, but my work schedule (i'm working as part of the practical training for my schooling) is out of my control and soon i will be scheduled to work on sundays/evenings and i won't be able to go. i'm really scared the one thing i'm excited for is going to be gone. I want to be closer to God but I don't know what else to do. Any advice?

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answered 2016-10-10 12:52:59 -0600

Guruka Singh gravatar image

Reading your message, I really feel what you are feeling and your anxiety around it. Let's take it a piece at a time. First... seva. Please remember that when you are not acting from selfishness or greed, taking care of yourself and your needs, and being kind and loving to your self is a part of seva. There is no "other." It's all One. So do what you need to do to relax and feel calm.

Second... life is a matter of priorities. So it's time to re-sort your priorities. In order to do that effectively, you have to get rid of the emotional content (guilt, anger, worry, fear) surrounding them and move your attention outside that. Look at your life as if you were looking through the eyes of someone else... someone compassionate, loving, wise and clear. See how you look from that vantage point, and then dispassionately review your priorities and understand what REALLY needs your time and how much of it it needs.

Third... Paath and Simran. There is no substitute for making your sadhana your number one priority. Meditate, exercise and do simran in the morning before you look at your phone or do anything else related to your day's activities. The whole point of listening to kirtan and doing Japa is so that that simran can continue inside you throughout the day and night. Go to bed to shabad kirtan and wake up to shabad kirtan. Here is a night time playlist you can put on repeat: For Sleep (traditional,) I also love Bhai Balwinder Singh's Asa Di War which is excellent to awake to. When the kirtan becomes part of the fabric of your day and night, it will run in your brain even if your cortex is doing school work or other things. Also, practice taking a 3 minute break several times a day just to close your eyes and do Waheguru simran silently with deep breathing. I use an app to remind me to take breaks. Whe it's time to sleep, leave the computer or TV and put your phone on airplane mode or shut it off till after your morning sadhana.

Fulfillment comes from feeling filled @;-)##

Filled with what? Filled with gratitude to God and Guru. Relax, breathe deeply, remember that you are a blessed person. You are Guru Ji's daughter. He will arrange all your affairs... if you let go and let Him.

All Love in Divine, .....G

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Your comment was incredibly thoughtful. I'm going to take some time to reflect and make some changes. Some of those things i am doing, some i need to work on. I especially liked your point about sewa. Thanks!

strongKaur gravatar imagestrongKaur ( 2016-10-10 13:47:47 -0600 )edit

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Asked: 2016-10-05 23:54:11 -0600

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Last updated: Oct 10 '16