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Reading your message, I really feel what you are feeling and your anxiety around it. Let's take it a piece at a time. First... seva. Please remember that when you are not acting from selfishness or greed, taking care of yourself and your needs, and being kind and loving to your self is a part of seva. There is no "other." It's all One. So do what you need to do to relax and feel calm.

Second... life is a matter of priorities. So it's time to re-sort your priorities. In order to do that effectively, you have to get rid of the emotional content (guilt, anger, worry, fear) surrounding them and move your attention outside that. Look at your life as if you were looking through the eyes of someone else... someone compassionate, loving, wise and clear. See how you look from that vantage point, and then dispassionately review your priorities and understand what REALLY needs your time and how much of it it needs.

Third... Paath and Simran. There is no substitute for making your sadhana your number one priority. Meditate, exercise and do simran in the morning before you look at your phone or do anything else related to your day's activities. The whole point of listening to kirtan and doing Japa is so that that simran can continue inside you throughout the day and night. Go to bed to shabad kirtan and wake up to shabad kirtan. Here is a night time playlist you can put on repeat: For Sleep (traditional,) I also love Bhai Balwinder Singh's Asa Di War which is excellent to awake to. When the kirtan becomes part of the fabric of your day and night, it will run in your brain even if your cortex is doing school work or other things. Also, practice taking a 3 minute break several times a day just to close your eyes and do Waheguru simran silently with deep breathing. I use an app to remind me to take breaks. Whe it's time to sleep, leave the computer or TV and put your phone on airplane mode or shut it off till after your morning sadhana.

Fulfillment comes from feeling filled @;-)##

Filled with what? Filled with gratitude to God and Guru. Relax, breathe deeply, remember that you are a blessed person. You are Guru Ji's daughter. He will arrange all your affairs... if you let go and let Him.

All Love in Divine, .....G