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marriage against family?

asked 2016-08-03 17:41:37 -0500

Simar2204 gravatar image

updated 2016-08-03 23:52:55 -0500

HI, I am a Guru Sikh girl and and live in Canada. I love a boy, we know each other from last 2 years and want to get married to him. But the thing is he is international student and i am Canadian citizen, my parents are not agreeing for our marriage. sometimes they say that he is not handsome, sometimes they say that his status is low and now they are going to pandits that is matching our kundli and gunas but unfortunately he is a manglik. Now the pandit made a new prediction that according to my starts i will get in contact with wrong person and my parents say that it is my boyfriend. And I should not worship God or go to any holly place because it is going to support my starts and will creat a negative impact on my future. some of my friends are suggesting me to get court marriage without letting my parents know and then tell them later on. i am asking this question because i love him and he is an international student so he need to move to get PR but i do not want him to move and my parents seems to be like they are not going to say yes now. at least he can get some opportunity to show himself by getting the PR. Should i do so? Please so not send me those videos saying that i have copied this from this page and 2nd video is best for you. I need a solution not the videos. I hope everyone can help me. I will appreciate your answers and will respect everyone's opinion.

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answered 2016-08-04 02:15:42 -0500

Cloud gravatar image

updated 2016-08-04 02:28:15 -0500

First of all you should NOT do a court marriage.

And before you show this answer to your friends let me tell you the reason I post the videos.

If I did not post the videos the answers would be like a scientific journal long that would take more then 5 pages at least to write and that would be for most people to long to read.

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The solution is in the videos themselves if you care to watch for them.

The first video: Where is my husband, guruka basically says: "If you do not know, do not marry" with more explenation. Your ability to worry all the time will disturb the process of the one the guru choose for you.

How the worry process is hindering your marriage [Press "Play it"]:,4UYYzbzGk6s,Ria1t15XgGw,sq7INkuMrh8,

Second video: Your "boyfriend" is not your soulmate, your soul is. Once you start work on yourself with doing amritvela and start reading from your guru the sri guru granth. That boyfriend of yours will not go to the other side with you after death etc. With more explanation. Don't marry your boyfriend to get against your parents etc. That attractive boyfriend of yours will not look as attractive in 7 years etc.

Third video: I'm aware that this video is told as the existance of kundli and manglik are not effecting the decisions of the parents involved but this video is still relevant. First it should be Paragatt (open). Do a hukumnama. The question your parents have to ask themselves is who is greater, the pandits wisdom or the guru when it does come to the hukumnama. Love comes and goes. The meaning of anand karaj is deeper then Namus or an alliance of two families for the survival for the next generation or by marriang upwards.

The vidoes are relevant to your question. However, I will be using CUE Youtube list for future reference when answering so that answers will be more "compact".

Im copying my answer from

Now before we adress the issue of Manglik. Love may be well, but unlike what bollywood and hollywood tells us it is not the only thing that will sustain a healthy marriage. I recommend these videos for yo. Especially the 2nd "Having Relationships" in your case.

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YouTube - Where is my husband?

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Having Relationships - YouTube Video

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Can Sikhs have love marriages?

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The Magic & Fantasy of Love - YouTube Video

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Is having Girlfriend / Boyfriend allowed in Sikhi?

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Dating and Sikhi

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Relationships - How the Guru Helps Us

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My Relationship With The Guru

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Do not forget to ask the very same pandit on what the meaning of manglik is.

Why should we listen to people on the road who to marry when they can not lift themself up from the streets?

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Does being a manglik affect my future?

How should we remedy this? By listen to Shri Guru Granth Sahib!

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Freedom From ... (more)

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and what if I wanted to marry him? Being Sikh my parents are going to pundits and trying to know if I can have a better life or not. If he is not right for me then why did Baba G brought him in my life?

Simar2204 gravatar imageSimar2204 ( 2016-08-04 13:36:28 -0500 )edit

Your parents have made their decision. And you want to marry him. We can not affect our parents but we can affect our own reaction like I wrote in the "Do not worry playlist". Now your question "If he is not right for me then why did Baba G brought him in my life?" is a good question.

Cloud gravatar imageCloud ( 2016-08-04 14:18:36 -0500 )edit is what I can give you an answer at this moment. However I do not know the rest of the answer. But when I look at your text, for me your decision on getting married is not set on a permanent frequency when you take that decision.

Cloud gravatar imageCloud ( 2016-08-04 14:28:45 -0500 )edit

I do not want to marry him without my family but my family is not trying to understand me. Going to pandits and 100% believing on them makes me crazy. Pandit have also asked them to stop me from doing path and going to Gurudwara. Now what option do I have??

Simar2204 gravatar imageSimar2204 ( 2016-08-04 19:35:55 -0500 )edit

Are your parents hindu? In that case I have to give a completly diffrent answer.

Cloud gravatar imageCloud ( 2016-08-06 11:49:10 -0500 )edit

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Asked: 2016-08-03 17:41:37 -0500

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Last updated: Aug 04 '16