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young love

asked 2015-07-31 00:32:16 -0600

hopeless gravatar image

I am a teenage girl who is in high school. There is one boy who I really love. He told me that he loves me to. I am almost 16 and he is 20. I know that I shouldn't love him but I can't stop thinking about him. I think about him when I wake up, when I do chores and when I work. I think of him when I am the Gurudwara or when I am at school. I like to think that he is next to me. I can't stop thinking about a made up future. I constantly tell myself that I can't do anything it will happen according to God's will. I told myself not to think of him, I even told myself to kimda be upset with him so I can stop thinking about him. In Ardaas, I asked God to help me forget him and to please forgive me for my bad thoughts. What can I do, please help me.

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I can't stop thinking about him when I do Simran and Paath. I really love him and we both want to get married. We both have Amrit, which is why I feel really guilty. But I can't stop thinking about him. I am ready for the 6 year commitment.

hopeless gravatar imagehopeless ( 2015-07-31 01:01:49 -0600 )edit

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answered 2015-07-31 10:31:33 -0600

Guruka Singh gravatar image

Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji ki Fateh!

Beta, you are 15 years old. It is normal to fantasize a lot. Imaging a future together and how wonderful it will be. But this is just that... a fantasy. Reality will not match up. Please trust me on this. You do not know the real man yet, you just think you do. You only have your fantasy man with whom you are obsessed. Do not think that a spoken promise at this age will be justification for you to get involved with him. It is not. Only hurt and trouble lies that way.

You said, "I constantly tell myself that I can't do anything it will happen according to God's will." Yes, the destiny is written and Guru Ji will bring you your husband in time. You can't stop thinking about him by telling yourself not to. Even that is thinking about him. Spend more time with your friends and family. Do you do sports? Activities that get you out of your head will help. Learn to meditate and how to control your mind in that way. When you have a strong daily practice, you can make your mind neutral quickly with Simran. I send you much love and Guru Ji's blessings that you will be strong and not make a mistake.

Guru rakha

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answered 2015-07-31 15:36:31 -0600

gn gravatar image

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Agree with Guruka Singh Ji.

You are 15 ypu got a long time to go before your married.

Im 20 and i still got a lot to learn, and I get the same thoughts as you do. Best thing to do is to ignore these thoughts, if you keep focusing on them they will just keep coming.

Best advice I got was to think these thoughts as cars on a busy road, you can either walk on the road and get hit by these cars or you just ignore them and walk on the footpath. When these thoughts come just acknowledge them and just carrying on with what your doing.

These thoughts will definitely come when you do path, simran and sewa. The 5 evils want you to stop getting close to Guru Ji. Again ignore them and carry on not matter how bad they are.

Also don't feel guilty at your age these thoughts are hard to get over, but its natural.

Please forgive me if i offended you in anyway or said anything wrong.

Sat Sri Akaal

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Asked: 2015-07-31 00:32:16 -0600

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Last updated: Jul 31 '15