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Pregnency, out of faith and out of relationship.

asked 2013-02-12 10:21:02 -0600

anonymous user

Anonymous

Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji ki Fateh!

I am a 25 year old Sikh male and recently an ex girlfriend of mine, who is Christian, informed me that she is pregnent with me being the father. Our break up was of mutual consent as we both considered the impact of our relationship on both our families; hers being traditional Catholics and my mother being Amrit Sanskar (sadly my father passed away 3 years ago).

Given this news, I am torn on how to proceed. It is still early enough to go ahead with termination but personally I dont believe I could live with myself I pressed ahead with that (I have read conflicting views online within Sikhism's view on the same?). I wont let her go through the situation alone either, after all it will be my child too. What scares me is losing my mother, who as a traditionalist, has always envisaged me marry within the religion.

Just a bit about myself; in my 25 years I have not been a practicing Sikh but have always felt an attachment to God. It's interesting though, my first avenue for advice on the above is within the Sikh community.

I appreciate you reading this far. Look forward to hearing your thoughts.

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Perhaps I can suggest a simple solution to all this mess birth control pills.

Anonymous sikh gravatar imageAnonymous sikh ( 2013-02-14 10:32:00 -0600 )edit

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answered 2013-02-12 21:51:41 -0600

pawan gravatar image

Personally, if this had happened to me, my mom would have murdered me right there and then if she were to find out about something like this. I agree that you shouldn't abandon your ex and your unborn child. It would be best if you decided to marry this women, so that you can both properly raise the child. Although, if the conflicts in the relationship can't be fixed, I think you should still support your ex and help her through this process. I can't tell you what to do, but I think you should tell your mom yourself. It's better you tell her first rather than someone else telling her. The Indian community is very shrewd and narrow-minded, and I'm sure no auntie would pass up the opportunity to gossip about you and your family. Sure, your mom will be upset with this news, but part of growing up and accepting your mistakes is admitting them. As a believer in God, I'm sure you know the right thing to do. Just tell the truth, it's what Guru Sahib Ji would expect of you too. Good luck, this is a really difficult situation to be in.

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answered 2013-02-12 14:47:20 -0600

kamboj gravatar image

(What scares me is losing my mother, who as a traditionalist, has always envisaged me marry within the religion.)

ਪੰਨਾ 1309, ਸਤਰ 8 ਜਾਤ ਨਜਾਤਿ ਦੇਖਿ ਮਤ ਭਰਮਹੁ ਸੁਕ ਜਨਕ ਪਗੀਂ ਲਗਿ ਧਿਆਵੈਗੋ ॥ जात नजाति देखि मत भरमहु सुक जनक पगीं लगि धिआवैगो ॥ Jāṯ najāṯ ḏekẖ maṯ bẖarmahu suk janak pagīʼn lag ḏẖi▫āvaigo. Do not be fooled by appearances of high and low social class. Suk Dayv bowed at the feet of Janak, and meditate

if we respect Shri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, we have to follow this .

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answered 2013-02-16 17:10:58 -0600

What a shame...Remember: 'All of humanity is One'.
You need to be honest with your family. If there is still love between you and your girlfriend, get married and bring up your child to respect both cultures and traditions. If marriage is unlikely, still be a 'supportive ex' - that way you will not need to lose your child.

The main reason why parents/ extended family discourage marrying outside caste/ religion etc, is their fear that their child will move away from or reject all Sikh values. Once they are reassured that this will not be the case, they should come round..

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Asked: 2013-02-12 10:21:02 -0600

Seen: 412 times

Last updated: Feb 16 '13