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Boyfriend problem. Pls help i really need it.

asked 2018-09-20 11:08:04 -0600

Kaurwmk gravatar image

updated 2018-09-20 11:23:31 -0600

Guruka Singh gravatar image

Please read full. Wmk sangat g i have a question pls tell me which path can make feelings for me in my boyfriend. He wants a break for 1 year and says he will return after 1 year. I dont want him to forget me. I love and trust him alot. We dont talk. He is apart from me because of his career and studies. Please suggest me which path can help me. Can i do sopurkh path for him? I really need your help. Waheguru will help you pls help me. Can sukhmani sahib for 40 days help me to keep feelings for me in his mind? Pls reply.

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answered 2018-09-20 21:32:01 -0600

Tryingtobasikh gravatar image

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh behn ji,

Let me first clear something before I begin to offer my lowly advice. Path isn't for others, its for us to read and understand. We need to read it and apply it to yourself to change our own lives. For example, "so kyo manda aakhiye jit jamme raajan", meaning "why call her bad? from her, kings are born". Now, you may read this everyday for the rest of your life and still call women bad things and think lowly of them, meaning, you haven't followed/applied it. Just like that, you may read sukhmani sahib for 40 days and still not apply it, thus, there's no real point, you won't be learning, "sikh nahi rahe". Now, in Sukhmani sahib, Guru Arjan dev ji says "kahoo fal ki eicha nahi baashai" meaning "they don't have desire for the fruit of their labor/work" but here, you want to do path to keep a man.

Lets say you do the path, how will that help keep him though? From your point of view, it might make god happy and sparkle some love into him? The line from japji sahib says "vada daata til na tamai", meaning "he does not hold back anything as he does not have any greed. Don't you think god wants you to be happy? Ofcourse, he does, but, he'll give in his own way with his own plans. So, the only way your man will change his mindset is through his own thinking and own state of mind.

Another question, didi, do you really want to force him to have love for you? I'm sure you're beautiful inside and out, with also sikhi (the biggest gem), you probably have cargivers that love you, there's so much love around you, just have to feel it. Now, as for him, no amount of begging, guilt traps or anything will change his mind. Those who love, never want to part ways and if he does, then he doesn't and honestly he doesn't deserve you as he hasn't even spoken to you for a year. Just stay calm, build up your own life by understanding sikhi more, studying, building a great career and then watch things change! There's no shortage of men with good hearts, so wait for him and give your heart to him. Remember, only fishes know the real importance of water. Just like that, the right man will acknowledge you and your effort. Until then, just accept Guru's will, and stay content.

However, you can do ardaas to god, not by saying "god all I want is him, I don't care if he's good for me or not" but say "god, give me what you please, if he's not for me then, give me the strength to stay content in your will". That is called "bhana mitha karke manana". If its ... (more)

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answered 2018-09-21 05:36:55 -0600

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Thanks for the reply veerji. He asked me to wait for 1 year and said me to enjoy my life. Also he assured that he will return. I dont wanna loose him. What should i do?

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If he assured you that he'll be back and that's all, then, wait for him meri behn ji. Don't overthink, accept guru's will and know that its all happening for good reasons. Overthinking will only lead you to re think the same answer 1000 times. All you can do is wait it out and focus ..

Tryingtobasikh gravatar imageTryingtobasikh ( 2018-09-21 05:48:36 -0600 )edit

..on yourself till the year finishes. Don't push things, it wont make it better, just accept them and let them be. Work on your self and build a relationship with guru ji until then. If you need any more support, we're here to help. Rab Bhala kare.

Tryingtobasikh gravatar imageTryingtobasikh ( 2018-09-21 05:51:10 -0600 )edit

Thanks a lot veerji it means a lot. Wmk sarbat da bhala.

Kaurwmk gravatar imageKaurwmk ( 2018-09-21 07:44:36 -0600 )edit

No need for a thanks ji. :) and true words. Waheguru sabna te mehr kare.

Tryingtobasikh gravatar imageTryingtobasikh ( 2018-09-21 21:53:23 -0600 )edit

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Asked: 2018-09-20 11:08:04 -0600

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Last updated: Sep 21 '18