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Facial hair

asked 2018-07-10 01:03:36 -0600

Kaur 88 gravatar image

I am a 29 yr old amritdhari Sikh women married to a 32 yr Sikh man for 7 years. We also have a 4 yr old son. I am also tying a dastaar since 3 years and I have always been very committed to keep my kes uncut and natural. During and after my pregnancy I have had hormonal disturbances leading to hirsutism. My facial hair is now very prominent. I m working on my hormones to level to normal. But I m still committed to keep my body hair natural . Since a few months my husband has been very bothered with my facial hair. To so much extent that he is ashamed to go with me in public. And he wants me to go for laser hair removal for my face. I see my relationship and family being severely affected because of this issue. My husband's behavior towards me has become so rude. I am so stressed constantly of how to make him understand and make this work. I m really desperate for help. Any women who has been through this,your advoce means so much to me.

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Is there a female forum participant who will respond to this Kaur?

Guruka Singh gravatar imageGuruka Singh ( 2018-07-12 11:59:11 -0600 )edit

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answered 2018-07-14 12:29:00 -0600

strongKaur gravatar image

WJKK WJKF Bhenji, I’m not amritdhari so what I can say is limited. I think you should stay solid on your commitment to keep your kes natural. At the same time, there may be more done on the hormonal side by seeing your doctor. For example certain oral contraceptives and even other medications are designed to balance the testosterone so eventually the old hair grows out and the new hair will not be as thick/should be not as prominent. You shouldn't feel forced to do anything you don't want to do and you should stay strong in what your path is. There are in fact a lot of women who struggle with this issue so you aren't alone in it. I don't know what to say about your relationship. I just really don't like it when men are so preoccupied with looks and not the fact that you are the mother of his child and committed to your path to God and relationship to Guru Ji. Relationships should be so much deeper than appearance…You don’t have to tolerate this behavior and rudeness, just be strong within yourself, do what you feel is right within your heart and follow Guru Ji’s path. Don’t get caught up in what anyone else thinks, or your appearance. You are so much more than your temporary body on this earth so focus on that spiritual connection which will give you the strength to move forward and love yourself as you are.

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Thanks for your support, I am already on hormonal treatment since last 3 months and I am doing all I can. I m just so sad to find out the fact that your outward appearance matters so much to the world.

Kaur 88 gravatar imageKaur 88 ( 2018-07-17 06:46:52 -0600 )edit

to the other people it might it may but to God it doesnt. We were all created with different appearances and we are one inside. Always remember that.

strongKaur gravatar imagestrongKaur ( 2018-07-18 00:13:56 -0600 )edit

maya will suck us in. family and friends will suck us into being self conscious sometimes too. this is not our purpose. that's what i remind myself anyways.

strongKaur gravatar imagestrongKaur ( 2018-07-18 00:15:19 -0600 )edit

answered 2018-07-15 22:58:49 -0600

Tryingtobasikh gravatar image

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh.

Behn ji, I would like to start by saying that you're really strong and I love the fact you're so keen on following guru ji's path. Honestly, 'strongKaur' answered it very well and I agree with her opinion about taking medicine to balance hormones etc. I would also advice the use of haldi and besan for a face mask as it decreases hair growth in that area. I know that following guru's teachings isn't always easy especially when family or friends come in the way but remember, they shall all perish and only Waheguru - your bond with him, will remain. I also advice asking your husband "what if your sister or daughter had a similar problem? do you think guru ji will be okay with me doing this?" However, all in all, it comes down to what you do for the peace in your relationship. Don't be guilty, just accept the will of god. Satguru mera sada dayala, mohe deen ko raakh liya. He will understand :) Leave it all on him. Bhul chuk fak, satguru tode te mehr banai rakhe.

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Asked: 2018-07-10 01:03:36 -0600

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Last updated: Jul 15 '18