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feeling abused

asked 2018-03-22 09:35:06 -0500

anonymous user


updated 2018-03-26 10:30:29 -0500

Guruka Singh gravatar image

i feel like i have been abused in life by the guys that i meet. i have been on a few dates and find that people donot see me for who i am and pass their assumptions, my parents are always fighting and provide me with no guidance at all. as a result i have a lot of trust issues and cannot trust the right person even if he comes along. i was in a serious relatonship and had a breakup. after that i have not been able to cope up with my life. many good people have come up but i am just not able to trust them, as a result iam suffering in life in general. please help me it, it is and just getting caught up in a karma cycle of accepting and rejecting cycle. i cant just trust anybody at all. pleas provide guidance. seeing my parents fight all the time, i dont wish to be with anybody at all. i feel like i could live alone for he rest of my life. but i know that i need to get out of this vortex and have a happy married life with kids. but i just cant move on.

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answered 2018-04-13 20:39:11 -0500

kaurchic gravatar image

updated 2018-04-13 20:41:34 -0500

Do not fear anyone or hate anyone. By feeling these types of emotions it is going to give you more hurt. The best advice I could possibly give, is form open and honest communication with the person you are wishing to establish a relationship with. Also form open and honest communication with your parents too. Do not be afraid to talk about your feelings with your parents. In fact, that is probably how you wish to raise your own children. The only way that is going to happen is by you (the parent) providing that warm environment for your child to be comfortable enough to reveal or disclose some things to you. I'm sure every parent is dying to have that kind of relationship with their child, especially when they start dating.

Don't let some dis-settlements in relationships keep you from finding the right person that matches your ideals, morals, values, personality style, and the way you envision raising your children. Be confident with who you are and be proud of your upbringing. It has made you who you are and that's very important in constructing an intimate relationship with another person.

Also you mentioned that you were serious with one person for a very long time and talking to new people is very different and difficult for you. Tell the person this. They might be experiencing the same feelings, but someone has to be willing to break the ice. I know you might be worried about your future with finding a life partner and having children, but don't let this worry you. Enjoy your life as it is at this very moment.

If you don't want to see your parents fighting then you need to talk to them so they know you care about them and yourself. It's very important.

You will know when you have found that person to share your life with. I know you may have heard this before, probably plenty of times, but it is true. It is a feeling of experiencing good, healthy boundaries and honest communication with another person who understands you for you! So don't let things discourage you in any way.

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answered 2018-03-26 10:24:09 -0500

Guruka Singh gravatar image

updated 2018-03-26 10:29:03 -0500

Love everybody, and trust everybody to do exactly what they are going to do. It is only in surrender to the Guru that your life becomes arranged for you, otherwise, the karmic entanglements of this incarnation become a struggle full of pain and betrayal. Relate to each person's soul, not their personality.

Now is the time to work on yourself. Don't be pulled into any relationship right now. Develop and strengthen your daily sadhana. Do paath and Gurbani veechar. Chant God's name. Train yourself to go deeper within yourself and explore the parts of yourself that are unknown to you. Hang with non-judgemental, spiritual people so that you have company on this journey.

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answered 2018-03-26 04:06:36 -0500

TransBorder gravatar image

When the stage comes in life when you don't find answers to your own questions, the best alternative left at that moment is doing an Ardas, sincere Ardas. That's it. Akal Purakh himself guides us.

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Asked: 2018-03-22 09:35:06 -0500

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Last updated: Apr 13 '18