AkaaliKaur's profile - activity

I hope all the best for you! yess it feels so much better knowing others are in the same boat :) It's great to see you have some love for your sister, I grew up in an environment where she would abuse me 24/7 and now I cant see her in any good light.. My love to you too xx

I'm a 20 year old girl born and raised in London, we're all AKJ sikhs and are amritdhari.

I look at all the other Gursikhs around me, and they're allowed to go to smagams and Sikhs camps by themselves without their parents. Mine say even in Sikhi related stuff you're not allowed anywhere alone because people will talk. I'm not allowed sleep overs at my amritdhari friends houses. I can't go to the movies with anyone. I'm not allowed to go shopping by myself, my mum has to be there with me. Since I was born, I have no memory of going to a friends house just to hang out. I'm not allowed to move out to go to uni. I'm not allowed any social media, no instagram or facebook. I'm constantly miserable and depressed because they are keeping me in jail and I cant stand it! Sikhi says to respect your parents and I do, its just difficult when they act like hitler!! I'm 20 years old and have no friends because I'm not allowed out to see them and they lose interest in talking to me ! I'm going mental and I just want to run away! What should I do?

I'm a 20 year old girl born and raised in London, we're all AKJ sikhs and are amritdhari.

I look at all the other Gursikhs around me, and they're allowed to go to smagams and Sikhs camps by themselves without their parents. Mine say even in Sikhi related stuff you're not allowed anywhere alone because people will talk. I'm not allowed sleep overs at my amritdhari friends houses. I can't go to the movies with anyone. I'm not allowed to go shopping by myself, my mum has to be there with me. Since I was born, I have no memory of going to a friends house just to hang out. I'm not allowed to move out to go to uni. I'm not allowed any social media, no instagram or facebook. I'm constantly miserable and depressed because they are keeping me in jail and I cant stand it! Sikhi says to respect your parents and I do, its just difficult when they act like hitler!! I'm 20 years old and have no friends because I'm not allowed out to see them and they lose interest in talking to me ! I'm going mental and I just want to run away! What should I do?!

bhainjee this is going to sound really weird but I have exactly the same issue! My older sister always gets her way and my parents always listen to her opinion. If I want to do something she'll make sure my parents say no! My parents are not the people to ask for permission, it's her. She's has taken over my entire life, making sure I have no friends, I don't catch up with anyone, making sure I have NO social media whatsoever, reading my messages, telling me off about absolutely everything and even blackmailing me. Because we are traditional amritdhari Gursikhs I'm expected to respect what she says and have no argument with her whatsoever. She hits me and yells at me but I'm not allowed to do anything about it. Because of her, I hate my life and I hate being a girl. I wake up every morning wishing I was a boy and free from the control of everyone. I have faith in Sikhi and maharaj but I have lost complete faith in my family, and as for the older sister, I HATE HER. I know Sikhi is about love and respect but no one is a brahm gyani and this is my weakness. She has destroyed me physically and mentally and I'll never forget that. I just want her married and out of my life.

As far as what to do, I'm sorry to say this but I've given up trying to fix my life. My family wont ever change and I know that. We've had sit down talks and have tried to solve things but in the end, I'm always restricted and my life is about rebelling and getting instagram and facebook without them knowing. I do an ardaas and pray she gets married and the hell out of my life in 2 years max. I myself want to get married so I can get the hell out of this overprotective jail and make my own choices with my husband. Bhainjee, you just have to wait, do simran and paath and EARN this change of lifestyle from maharaj. Whatever we want done or change WILL happen, but only if we deserve it by putting in our share of paath and simran. I'm sorry for not being much of a help and I really hope things get better for you! You're not alone in this, just remember most Sikh families have this issue! I always single myself and say why is it just me, truth is it's almost everyone around you but they don't show it.

Bhul Chuk Maaf :)

I understand where you're coming from totally as I myself have engaged in so many anti-sikhi acts :/ the result is that I'm battling depression day and night. I also have the worst reputation amongst others and frequently get gossiped about.

All I can say to you is, all the amazing brahm gianni Sikhs started off by being nothing more than we are right now. We have to have basically experienced the lowest of the low in order to reach the highest of the high (exceptions for those blessed gursikhs maharaj sends). Karma shouldn't even be an issue tbh. If we have done wrong it's entirely up to the Akaal Purkh whether he punishes us or not, it solely depends on our efforts to build our relationship with him. That being said, us trying to better ourselves shouldn't be based on the reason of karma or fear, it should be out of love. We need to really feel the remorse of being disconnected from maharaj, and prove to him we realise how wrong we were.

Prove your utmost pyaar through doing nitnem, sacrificing your sleep and waking up at amrtivela for him, meditating on him with soo much concentration and basically anything you would do for a person you love. That is, giving up your own precious time to spend with that loved one. What we forget is that maharaj is the only loved one that will never leave :)

I know you can do this, you have the power of bani to help you. Good luck!

how long do I need to do naam simran to feel something other than pain?

thankyouu soo much jee! so you're basically saying forget everything and everyone and just focus on strengthening my relationship with maharaj? I find it so difficullt to lift my head up around people who think only bad of me :(

thankyou bhenjee! I've already made changes to put things right for myself! but just when I start thinking about changing, someone posted a snapstory of a whole group of gursikhs slandering me:/ no shame at all:( things like that bring me all the way down. I try to move on but I just can't :(

aww sister thankyou so much! this was so enlightening! I totally understand what you mean by not caring about what they think about me! it's just so hard because I see those people sooo often, and I'm all on my own getting laughed at because of my actions :( will my rep change with bani? thankyou!!

I'm an amritdhari Sikh girl, I have done very bad things and for that I have a bad reputation within sangat and at AKJ smagams. People look at me and laugh, they visibly gossip about me and throw me looks of disgust. I regret my disgusting actions and have become very depressed and unstable. How do I regain a good reputation again? I want everyone to at least say fateh to me when I walk past and I want people to think good of me again. I regret everything I have done. Before, being the daughter of an acclaimed kirtani and being very knowledgeable I was on a great path to Sikhi. Now, one mistake lead to another and I can't show my face again at AKJ smagams :/ Please tell me what to do, will Naam simran and bani help to eradicate what I have become?

Bhul Chuk Maaf Ji