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Arrange marriage part 2

Hey fellow sikhneters you guys seem to be a good and smart bunch of people so I'll give you this nut too crack about my life.

I'm the same guy that made this question 2 years ago: sikhnet youth forum archive link

Read the link too continue to read this text!:

What happened was that I followed the advice I got and tried too talk too my local giani and this is what he said and I quote:

"Guru gobind singh ji got arranged marriage, why can't you as his son?".

Great, so much for his support! I thought...And after seeing this video much later I realised it was 2 total diffrent situations about Guru Gobind Singh ji and my situation:

I couldn't consult my grandparents either since they're dead. So there I was, no idea what to do, but being a hypersexual (I've lived in a very dysfunctional family) guy with Asperger Syndrome I thought well I wont get laid since no matter if I'm clean shaven or not. I suck with women altough I'm not bad looking. I'll kill 2 birds 1 stone since Indian women are the most submissive women in the world and I'l lose my virginity. Boy did I have too eat up those words!

I went too India, it was all very surrealistic, 2 days before marriage I got sick with paratyphoid fever and then I got married and there I was in that "mystical bed", since I was so sick I couldn't even have the stamina although according too Indian Custom you're supposed to be most sexually active the first 6 months and in the first month you're suppose to do it everyday.

All in all, things went bad with my health and our relationship and she left after awhile and everyone was suprised, including myself. Though I was happy she left which made me a free man who has some authority on what too choose. Since I did comply with my parents wishes.

Good ending right? Nope.

I tried too study in university, but I have learning problems which apply too both school and work because of my syndrome. I can't clear one single test at university and I can't keep a job more then 2 weeks. Lost 4 jobs already! While it takes maybe 2 days for a "normal" person too learn to work maybe it takes like 2 weeks for me and that costs money for the company so I'll get fired. I have a very bad short term memory and so I don't learn new things and I'll get easily tired.

These things are making me the blacksheep of my family, everyone else works and studies and they have their own problems, but they get very irritated when a guy like me who has citizenship and has the ability too study at university wont clear a single test, can't keep a job and thinks I'm lazy. Making our family's face look bad espacially now that I've got divorced they're blaming me for the girl leaving.

I feel very sad when I can't follow the guru's word "Work till the brow of your sweat!" and that I have too live in welfare too support my family. I feel so stupid and dumb like Bhai Sachan Sach

Alot of times,I want too kill myself and be reborn as a person without autism so I can serve the guru. Maybe like taking amrit, (lie about my autism too the 5 beloved) join the military and go too Afghanistan and get myself killed there for protecting civilians in the guru's spirit, a worthy death then taking your own life.

The thing that is keeping me alive are teachings from Yogi Bhajan like this article text.

These texts have personally given me alot of clarity.

So to the question I was going too ask now.

My mom and my dad has each choosen a "wife" from thier respective family. They haven't agreed on a singe one. On the dad's side she's 18, on my mothers side she's 14. The reason my mom's wants me too get merried is that she has a mentally retarded cousin which also have a wife which is younger then him. For me too survive the 10 year gap would be good for me according too her:

When Yogi Bhajan speaks of arrange marriage from this article :

Today let us discuss the pros and cons of arranged marriages. The system was that each family used to have a prohat. A prohat is a person who knows every accident, incident and fact about the child from birth through the present. Whenever the daughter crossed her sixteenth year, an indication would be given to her prohat to find a suitable match.

Two prohats would sit together to exchange notes on the marriageable boys and girls they had. They discussed age, beauty, caste, dowry, efficiency, education, father, genes – every detail of compatibility from A to Z. Now we use computers; these prohats were old-time computers. They would consider these things in detail: health, economic position and circumstances, ability to raise and provide for a family, social status, social structure and family history, then they brought the proposal to both parents who would discuss those details. If the parents approved, then the details would be given to the brothers and sisters of the family for their approval.

Meanwhile, the girl and boy didn’t know the arrangement. Finally, when everything was settled completely between both families, the boy and girl were informed. They were allowed to decide whether they liked the relationship or not. The philosophy is in the old saying, “Love starts after marriage and is lived up to death.” The advantages of arranged marriages are that there is economic and social security. All details, pros and cons, are checked out very properly, and the involvement and concurrence of the relatives provides a further social security.

But in many cases the young people today do not like this kind of marriage. The disadvantage of this kind of marriage is there is no kick and joy out of the emotions and it almost never satisfies the ego. In a non-arranged marriage, it is the ego of the two which keeps them together for a long time. “Well, I selected this man. It doesn’t matter how nasty he is.” Or he will say, “I chose this girl. It doesn’t matter how sloppy she is.” Their egos play a most important role. That is the only disadvantage.

But I've never heard of such of things prohats when I was in India? All I know is that marriage is for showing your "honor image", like a facebook profile showing off that you have a good honor namus life. And does my parents do these steps as written above? I'm confused on what to do. I want too hear your opinions on what I should do?

I can leave abroad now, they won't take me seriously until I come out of my comfort zone.