Ask Your Question

Loneliness [closed]

asked 2012-03-01 02:06:58 -0500

anonymous user


Vaheguru ji ka Khalsa, Vaheguru ji ki Fathe,

Please take the time o read this, I just want my story to be heard.

I have lived in a place where there is no turbaned sikh girl. I feel alone because need someone to understand me. I have been alone for at least 8 years. We, my parents, my brother and I went to India and on our way back I cried and cried because when I compared my life in my home country with India I felt really sad. I don't have anyone to talk to so I pretend to talk to My Guru, I mean my Guru is always with me, right? so I'm sure that my Guru will be listening. I am different but I don't want that to change because I LOVE my Turban. I look so awesome in it :)

I'm still in school and I have friends but they don't understand. There's nothing wrong with that but... I want a sikh girl that has the kind of attitude that I have towards Sikhi. I want to beable to discus the battles fought by the Sikh. I want to be able to discuss about the current issues in today's society. I want to know that there is someone that appreciates guys that have beards. I just think that the beard just brings out the personality of a guy and makes them look really handsome. All the girls that I know like clean, shaving guys.

But most of all I just want a friend to talk to about my family life and espacially sikhism. When we were at Harmandir Sahib in Amritsar, I met this really beautiful girl that was wearing a turban, well i didn't meet her but I said Fathe. I had tears in my eyes, that girl was the daughter of Guru Gobind Singh Ji, like me. I wanted to talk to her but couldn't. I mean how unique is the turban? I did't even know her but since she was wearing a turban and so was I we greeted each other with a polite nod and a huge smile as if to say Vaheguru ji ka Khalsa, Vaheguru ji ki Fathe. That was the most amazing thing that had happened to me and it was at Harmandir Sahib, my favourite place on earth! That was years ago and I now regret not talking to her.

you know typing all this actually makes me feel better but that lonely feeling of mine will never go away. I constantly do ardass to my guru about being able to talk to a sikh that is really in LOVE with Sikhi like I am. I hate being alone.

If anyone has advice please, please help me. I hate being lonely, I constantly find my self wiping away tears but I don't want to feel this way it is horrible. I hate feeling depressed. Is there anyone that ... (more)

edit retag flag offensive reopen merge delete

Closed for the following reason the question is answered, right answer was accepted by new user
close date 2013-06-14 17:40:56

2 answers

Sort by ยป oldest newest most voted

answered 2012-03-01 11:20:40 -0500

gmustuk gravatar image

updated 2012-03-02 13:04:07 -0500

I remember being lonely when I was younger and it seeming to be hopeless to find the kind of partner I was wanting. I had just finished 10 years of boarding school in India and came back to the USA with very few friends in my area. All my friends from school I grew up with, and were more like sisters/brothers so not many options for a life partner. The thought of where this mysterious someone would come from seemed hopeless. I searched and in the process left many of my values behind and compromised my identity as a Sikh.

After going through this experience I felt the emptiness of this and realized this wasn't the way. I had also felt like I had given up. That same year I decided to go to a Sikh/Spiritual/Yoga Camp and to my surprise met my wife. Patience is a virtue!

You never know where/when you are going to meet that person. But you will never be happy if you are always looking outside of you. Connect with your soul and the Guru inside you and develop that relationship and rest all will unfold with ease. Be the lighthouse yourself and attract those around you. Inspire others and you will be lifted up. The more you serve and help others the more blessings will come to you.

Set aside time every morning to connect with your soul. This is important. Learn about meditation and practice meditation ( )

Here is an excerpt from a letter to me from SSS Harbhajan Singh Khalsa Yogiji when I was going through major challenges with my identity. I hope it gives you some encouragement.

November 18, 1995

My dear son in divine

Sat Nam. I am very grateful to you for keeping up and going through the hell of life.

Life is a situation of test, trial and triumph. You will be tested in your life and you must be strong. There is no easy way, and no easy answer. You must face all of your doubts and excel in spite of them; this is the test of life. A test would not be a test if it did not take all of your grit to overcome it. Every man who has achieved greatness in his life has gone through the most difficult time, full of doubt and pain. However, one thing that you must remember is that these situations build your character and make you strong. There is nothing for you to do but to overcome yourself. I cannot dispel your doubts, only you can do this through your spiritual practice. Those who run away from doubt and fear without challenging it can never live in peace or have happiness. This is your test, my son. See it for what it is and get on with your life.

My deepest prayers and blessings are with you. May Guru Ram Das bless you and guide you.

In the ...

edit flag offensive delete link more


thank you.

new user gravatar imagenew user ( 2012-03-02 00:53:46 -0500 )edit

answered 2012-07-20 22:37:50 -0500

this post is marked as community wiki

This post is a wiki. Anyone with karma >100 is welcome to improve it.

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh!

I think a time in life comes to everyone where one really works on fulfilling their needs of loving and belonging. Even I remember standing lonely times as school because of this very reason. But keep in mind, this isnt going to last forever. Your life is going to get better and you will have committed relationships where you would walk along with another person to your Guru. Situations never stay the same. I see how passionate you are for your dharam. I see incredible power in you using which you can do so much for your religion. Why not do parchaar and educate people living around you? You will get exposed to different views and will learn much more about people who think like/different then you. And this might get you to meet people who have similar thinking as you do. And who knows, you can teach other people and bring them closer to Waheguru! Such a beautiful seva :)

And you are right, Wahegeguru ji is always with you. Even I used to talk to Waheguru like you described! Also, you have a Gursikh family with you. Sangat in your own house where you can grow and develop waymore in Sikhi. Not alot of people have this.

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki Fateh

edit flag offensive delete link more

Question Tools


Asked: 2012-03-01 02:06:58 -0500

Seen: 1,940 times

Last updated: Jul 20 '12