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Marriage Trouble

asked 2013-02-09 20:01:03 -0600

anonymous user


Hello, my husband who I love very much, has turned against everyone, he wants no contact with family and gets angry when I speak to or associate with mine....he sees it as not being one with him. people say he is mentally ill, he wants no help, but will be silent or say awful things. I still love him, but don't know how to solve this, looks like we are heading for sep/divorce, which I don't want.

Saying to him to change/get help/counselling is on deaf ears. I must do it all myself without involving him, what can I do get kirpa from god and have my situation change to love and gracefulness that my home becomes happy and not broken........I pray for this.

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If he is not willing to change, then you might as well leave him and divorce him, because there is no use to stay with a person who can't change for someone else.

Anonymous sikh gravatar imageAnonymous sikh ( 2013-02-14 17:30:50 -0600 )edit

One sided you mention you love your husband,other side you care about others,this is not right.If he turned really against to one you likes then there should be some reason behind this.Person can't clap with one hand same way there are some reasons in every broken relation.Don't listen people or you

ASikh gravatar imageASikh ( 2013-02-26 14:14:03 -0600 )edit

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answered 2013-02-13 16:18:46 -0600

Guruka Singh gravatar image

updated 2013-02-13 16:51:50 -0600

You do not need him to participate. First, speak 11 "Sopurkh" (from Rehiras Sahib) while meditating on him, not as he is behaving now, but in the purity of his soul. Do this each day without fail.

Understand and value that prayer is your power. Your prayer has to become direct, powerful and pure. Then how can anything go wrong?

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Is it ok to listen to sopurkh 11, times.? As I don't know it or the proper pronunciation by heart.

st gravatar imagest ( 2013-02-13 23:51:42 -0600 )edit

Also if it is to recite my self should it be out loud or in silence ok as well.

st gravatar imagest ( 2013-02-14 00:25:33 -0600 )edit

Out loud. You can do it along with a recording. Just do your best.

Guruka Singh gravatar imageGuruka Singh ( 2013-02-14 00:39:23 -0600 )edit

thank you Guruka Singh. What a wonderful albeit sentimental day to start this (feb 14). Much appreciated

st gravatar imagest ( 2013-02-14 06:57:40 -0600 )edit

Wahiguru wahiguru

Nihang Gavinpal Singh Khalsa gravatar imageNihang Gavinpal Singh Khalsa ( 2013-02-14 11:21:49 -0600 )edit

answered 2013-02-11 09:22:58 -0600

kanwaljit.singh gravatar image

I think he is going through a rough phase. Give him support and don't share things which make him upset. If you think it is taking longer than usual, consult a psychologist (you could go alone). As long as you are patient with him, your home should not break!

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I am trying patient for many years. And yes going to someone for help they say they can do nothing unless the person himself wants help. guruka Singh in his videos suggested sa ta na ma meditation with your partner but again he will not participate. I look to waheguru to help us

st gravatar imagest ( 2013-02-13 13:15:41 -0600 )edit

how about inviting a doc/specialist over for lunch? tell your husband that he is just a friend you know from work etc. don't reveal his occupation.

kanwaljit.singh gravatar imagekanwaljit.singh ( 2013-02-27 10:24:20 -0600 )edit

answered 2013-02-26 14:35:08 -0600

ASikh gravatar image

updated 2013-02-26 14:38:16 -0600

Don't listen to people and your family,think or understand by your mind.Every one has different views and experiences,but the real situation which you guys are going through includes your husband is not easy for both of them. How can you assumed that he is sick or mentally only by telling your family.No that's not true.Same way he can predict about you also.If he still loves you and kids (if you have)that can finish this chapter,means marriage can be safe. People and family(parents family)or (who is giving free advice)is not going to stay or survive with you on the long run, If he is not in meditation or simran then help him,be with him all the time.Listen to him,same way he will listen to you but don't involve others or family members in this.They will always and only advice your betterment but not for both of you which leads you alone,or separation. Dhan Guru Ram Das

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Asked: 2013-02-09 20:01:03 -0600

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Last updated: Feb 26 '13