Waheguru ji ,
I don't know what is happening , i feel like i should just stop following god . I am so tired of losing the person I will start liking its so messed up .
anyways I hope someone over here can guide me and help me. I am in Canada right now , i have everything good job , nice car , nice house only thing i am asking from Baba ji is nice husband from last 3 years. every one says you believe in god nothing wrong is going to happen with you.
I use to have a boyfriend and i Knew that internally that he is never going to talk to his parents about me because he isJatt and I am Hindu. I loved him more than anything and he ended up going to India got married and now his marriage is not working out and he wants me to come back in his life. Every time I see him I feel like only thing he wants is me to be in his bed. I tired to be his friend and tired to convince him his wife is good lady and he should try to make this work out between them instead of thinking how to divorce her and marry me .
During this I met someone else he was so nice and was exactly the person I wanted to be , he left me saying I am busy with work and cant give you time that you deserve. mean while My mom found another one I met him tired to make things work out but was missing the second one ( not my boyfriend ) and as it always ends never worked out.
few days ago I went to Vancouver from Toronto , i was at my cousins house received a call from the second one if I want to see him and would like to go out with him for some drinks and dinner. generally I don't drink but i don't know what happened that day i lied to my cousin and went out with him. I knew that he is married and in fact said to him its not right what we are doing now . after couple of drinks i ended up expressing my feelings for him and we slept together .He said he like the way I am and loves me for what i am that is all i remember . I called him next day when i was at airport and told him to ignore what ever i said to him as i was drunk he said okay as i don't want to spoil his marriage either.
problem is i cant get him out of my head and i don't want to be with my ex boyfriend either . what should i do . i am so lonely sometimes i don't have any one to talk .
one of my friend told me to pray to devil she said god will never get you the one you love but devil ... (more)