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You are caught up in a pretty messy situation. It sounds like you were able to realize your ex-boyfriend (the first guy) was not the one for you. After all, he wasn’t even able to talk to his parents about you, he left you to go get married in India, and then he is willing to cheat on his wife. Now as for the second guy, its hard to be able to think clearly when there was both alcohol and a sexual relationship involved. I will point out though that he is married, and it’s a heavy burden to be responsible for hurting another woman like that. I know you have feelings for him, but do you really want to be with someone who would cheat on his wife and do you want to be responsible for breaking up their marriage.

I know you are lonely, but you will find someone appropriate for you, who isn’t married, and who will love you and only you. Not a guy who just goes around looking for someone to have sex with. You deserve better, I promise. I really think that you shouldn’t talk to either of these guys again. Not following God is never a step in the right direction. Have patience, and you will find the right guy. I think that maybe this is your time to build your relationship with God. Do you have friends to talk to, family, cousins, someone that you can just talk? It might be nice to be able to fill your time with activities, keep busy.

When it is the right person, it will work better than this. It won't be this hard, complicated, messy, painful. You deserve better.

You are caught up in a pretty messy situation. It sounds like you were able to realize your ex-boyfriend (the first guy) was not the one for you. After all, he wasn’t even able to talk to his parents about you, he left you to go get married in India, and then he is willing to cheat on his wife. Now as for the second guy, its hard to be able to think clearly when there was both alcohol and a sexual relationship involved. I will point out though that he is married, and it’s a heavy burden to be responsible for hurting another woman like that. I know you have feelings for him, but do you really want to be with someone who would cheat on his wife and do you want to be responsible for breaking up their marriage.

I know you are lonely, but you will find someone appropriate for you, who isn’t married, and who will love you and only you. Not a guy who just goes around looking for someone to have sex with. You deserve better, I promise. I really think that you shouldn’t talk to either of these guys again. Not following God is never a step in the right direction. Have patience, and you will find the right guy. I think that maybe this is your time to build your relationship with God. Do you have friends to talk to, family, cousins, someone that you can just talk? It might be nice to be able to fill your time with activities, keep busy. I suspect somewhere inside maybe there is a fear that you won't find someone else, or maybe you have some insecurities about finding someone else. Maybe try to explore that a bit, or build confidence in a certain are area of your life and remember what you deserve. I think that its really hard to let go and this is going to be painful. I wish you all the best in getting through it.

When it is the right person, it will work better than this. It won't be this hard, complicated, messy, painful. You deserve better.