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2014-01-03 17:02:56 -0500 answered a question How to deal with ungrateful people?

WJKK WJKF, I have been in a similar situation to you although not with a car but involving a house I owned of which my friends paid rent for.In my experience No matter what you do they will continue to carry on as they do they will behave when you are around but will do the opposite when your back is turned. If they do not listen to you even when you tell them time after time there is little chance you will get what you want. In terms of sikhi we should not put money in the way of others but in this case it is not the money it is the principal and by allowing them into your car you are very caring and giving. At the time i was going into sikhi whilst these individuals were still into the young punjabi culture of bhangra and clubbing.

My personal way of dealing with this was to simply sit down with all those involved and explain to them that what they were doing was wrong and that out of my own kindness I chose them as tenants and could have easily allowed other more caring people to live with me instead, and if they wished to keep living there they would need to start respecting my religious beliefs(i.e no meat or alcohol in the house, no inappropriate music), I also raised the rent to the normal rate rather than the discounts I offered them.

As i had planned they refused to pay the extra amount and left to find another place,These were of course friends of mine and the key here was to get rid of the problem without losing the friendship with these people. Instead of forcing them out I raised the rent which made them leave to their own accord whilst not breaking the friendship with them considering that I did work with these people. This did teach them a valuable lesson as they had to live with other of whom they had to respect or risk being told to leave as they were not friends with them. Their behaviours soon changed and one of them has joined me onto the path of sikhi

PLEASE LISTEN this worked in my case but I strongly advise that you only do this as a last resort and not try to make their lives any more difficult for "revenge" you should only concentrate on eradicating the problem and not trying to recuperate the losses from them and simply put it down to life experience.If you well and truly believe that doing something similar to what i did would both benefit your problems and also benefit them into learning to be more grateful people then by all means do it.

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2014-01-01 13:29:31 -0500 asked a question How to deal with ungrateful people?


I am currently regularly having to work and commute with ungrateful people of whom are causing me a lot of unnecessary cost. In short i use my own car and have three other with me who commute with me none of whom drive. They only contribute towards fuel however they also have caused damage to my vehicle and when i ask them to stop they simply give me responses of how its just part of commuting and how its only a material object. All three are sikhs also however it has got to the point were the amount they pay me for fuel is only covering the damages they cause to my car if not at loss.I am not attached to my car however i have paid a lot of money and worked hard for it so naturally i like to maintain it as much as i can.

My question is that how do i deal with these people should i simply refuse to let them in my car as no matter how many times i have explained to them they simply carry on damaging the car by not getting in and out of it properly nor do they care that they have caused damage. Without me driving their commutes would be very difficult indeed and i do not want them to be in this sort of hardship but at the same time i simply cannot afford to keep having losing money to have my car repaired