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parents power of control emotional blackmail

Im 30 years old. Ive been emotional controlled or blackmailed or something all my life . To be honest im not fully aware or sure how bad its been. ive care for my mum who has been ill since i was a dad was a angry abusive man who drank alot so ny mum used the 'ill' card to protect her self. However i beleive my mum started beleivong it too. She does have many problems ie arthiritus and diabetes n a few other things. This was used to get her by. My dad used it to control us by saying 'do it otherwise your mums going to stress and become ill' dont make your mum worse etc etc.

Long story short.... my parents are both amritdhari now. Unfortunatley carry alot of punjabi culture traits.however they still want to control everything from what i say, do, where i go, who i talk to, everything. I got married and after a month they didnt accept her. My wife did everything i asked from cooking cleaning to massaging my mums feet, alot of seva for my mum but it was overlooked. They enjoyed this but also showed no appreciation. I was shocked becos this was a perfect scenario for my parents and what they always wanted.My parents played with my wifes emotions so much that she got depressed. I was also depressed. Ive been overweight all my life as i always turned to food. I also developed mental unstability. It was a downward spiral for both. A once happy and cheerful women as my wife was now also dragged into a hell hole becos of me. At rock bottom i left home by myself and had to seek sangat of gursikhs. With Gurus grace ive managed to begin a journey to find myself and acknowledge that i am a individual who has a right to feel and think and mainly i am responsible for my own karma and actions. Another long story short... In the end i had to find my wife who i had sent away aswel (to kytt + then india) while i sorted mysefl out, we both decided to give it another go and i moved us out of the family home and managed to get a job with enuf to pay the rent. However it hasnt ended and now over the phone my parents still want to try and affect us.and are trying everything to get a reaction. many people will disagree with me moving out. My parents have alot of money and a big house n alot of people around them. They gave me nothing as money was their final control. I personally didnt want to take anything as being rich also didnt give me any peace. However i heard two sikhs who are mainstream 'sants' talk on tv saying we should basically worshhip our parents and thats where it al starts. Im thrown off a bit as they implied the only way is through respecting and caring for parents. This emphasis left me a questioning why they are saying this.

how come no one ever acknowledges the abuse and emotional stress parents cause their children? Which leaves the child so messed up that they are unable to reset themselves. Then unable to raise children of their own without carry out similar actions. And unable to hold a relationahip because the traits are embedded. I am currently struggling where time to time strong memories come back whether it was abuse, hitting or swearing by my dad or emotional abuse from my mum or just where i was. And i analyse my situation and realise where i was and how stuck and oblivious i was to my situation. I know my parents gave me everything n raised me so im nt saying that im nt grateful. But if i dont deal with it then im passing it on to another generation.

I need to know would Guru ji punish me for stepping back from my own parents?moving out and trying to live life and find my path?