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How can i become a better sikh

i am 17 years old and i have been through severe depression, and am still going through light depression. I can never get myself to do my nitnem properly the only thing i like to do is kirtan. i do not feel filfilled in my life i dont have good parents and i feel like through gurbani i can come to peace but i dont know how. i feel so alone like i need someone but i know only gurbani can fill my loneliness how do i become a naam jap-ing sikh.