Ask Your Question

Frequency of sex between married couple

asked 2013-09-28 10:05:59 -0500

anonymous user


How often should a married couple be engaging in the sacred act of sex? As a male, it feels draining at a both physical(exercise duration, strength etc.) and mental (irritated, focus, concentration) energy levels don't feel same thereafter? Is it true uncontrolled indulgence even in a marriage can hinder spiritual progress, weaken the body, shock the nervous system etc.?


edit retag flag offensive close merge delete

1 answer

Sort by ยป oldest newest most voted

answered 2013-09-28 12:00:08 -0500

Lo K. B. gravatar image

updated 2013-09-28 12:21:24 -0500

Sat Nam,

Good question! Sex between a married couple is indeed sacred, and should be treated as such. Now, what exactly does this mean? Something loses its sacredness when it becomes abused or taken for granted. For example, if a man wants sex all the time and his woman does not, that is abuse, and needs to be worked out. Same thing if a woman demands of a man more than he is able or willing to give. As far as physiologically, people will give you millions of answers, numbers, and whatever they want, but it depends on what works for you and your wife. Some people have stronger sex drives, a stronger physiology and therefore can handle more frequent sex than others. It's just how it is. If you feel as though sex is shocking your nervous system, take a step back and try to see if you can see what is going wrong, be it the frequency, your dietary habits, how much you exercise, or hormones. Then take steps to strengthen your nervous system or make healthier choices.

As far as "uncontrolled indulgence" goes, if you overindulge in ANYTHING, it becomes very negative and harmful. There has been plenty of sexual research conducted, from both the East and the West, from the ancient text the Kama Sutra to the research done by the husband-wife psychologist team, Masters and Johnson. I would encourage you to perhaps take a good look at these studies, and come up with your own conclusion. From experience, having sex once a week is fine, as it REGENERATES your immune system. Sex every day for a long period of time is probably too much. Too little sex is just as bad.

Find a balance that works for you and your wife, and ask HER about how she feels. It's important that you are completely equal in this aspect of your relationship as well as all others, and that you realize that women have very different sexual needs. One can prolong sexual intimacy by going slowly and listening to each other's subtle cues, and a man can benefit himself tremendously by learning how to delay orgasm (the climactic "explosion" of energy), as a woman can by learning how to obtain hers. Sex can be very spiritually uplifting if one takes the time to understand its dynamics. Sex is much more than "copulation," "a baby making method" or a "really exhausting duty."

If you want more answers, this forum will give you many, or you can take a look at the Youth Forum Archives. Use the keywords "sex" and take a look there. I also believe Yogi Bhajan had valuable information on this topic, especially on foods that help regulate or maintain a healthy sex drive.

Bless you and may you come to a conclusion that allows you to understand the unique beauty that comes in this act of Love.

edit flag offensive delete link more

Question Tools


Asked: 2013-09-28 10:05:59 -0500

Seen: 1,963 times

Last updated: Sep 28 '13