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Mann kee matt tyago santon ...ehaa baat katthaini
Mann apne te bura mitaana , pekhe sagal srisht saajna
Got to read this snippet somewhere : 'Forgiveness is the best give you could give to yourself'
try to give your self this gift
On Relationship - I understand what you are talking about and sometimes the pressures and pain would seem insurmountable .... remember you an not put out a fire with more fire ... you'll need the nirmal gunn of water to do that -- figure it out
On ' It's like standing in the way of Union between God and me ' - It would definitely seem so ...and not only now ...every time we feel suppressed or deprived of what we want to do individually/as a sangat ...this feeling will raise its head ... do remember ... nothing and any point stands between you and god - it is only I who would like to look at it that way .... try to not get consumed by such thoughts and look more clearly ... you'll find that it is only you that is standing between yourself an god and nothing else ....
Hope that helps