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What you have been through has been really tough, but Waheguru has given you strength to get by this. By what your describing you seem like a good parent, and looking to improve your children's life. You did the right thing but not forcing Sikhi on your wife, that way she never felt pressured and would follow Sikhi at her own pace which is key for developing love for Guru ji.

Set time for studying and doing paath, if you can listen to kirtan and study.

Older children don't like going to Gurdwara because they find it boring as they don't understand what's going on. Tell your children stories about the Gursikhs and Shaheeds at home for a short period, teach them slowly. You could try watching Sikh movies together like the Chaar Sahibzaade. But you have the full right to teach your children Sikhi, just don't force it. If there a classes at the Gurdwara maybe they can make friends and will want to go to the Gurdwara more.

If you want to get married that's completely up to you, if you think you have found the right person the take a Hukamnama and see what Guru ji says.

https://www.facebook.com/Everythings13.BasicsofSikhi/videos/1567570966614298/

You are doing a great job as parent.

Bul chuk maf

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh