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This is called a spontaneous emission; the involuntary release of semen. You know it's all about intent. If you are trying to excite yourself, then that's your intent. If you have a spontaneous emission (cumming without touching anything) it is usually because that pressure has built up in your body and you haven't done anything to channel it. This often happens during sleep; especially in the morning when one dreams instead of getting up early and doing amrit vela sadhana.