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Oh My God. I am so sorry to hear of your plight. But You have to carry on. If a man being Amritdhari can do this don't expect any different. I lost my wife to cancer in Nov 2016 and I am completely shattered, i wasn't even Amritdhari! I just loved her so much and did everything that i could used up all the money, time and energy, i had and even went into debts of thousands of pounds, family members are not even talking to me properly, I have 2 boys 13 and 10 and I would love to help you, I go to the Gurudwara regularly and cry my heart out everyday! You have to find peace in Waheguru's Jap, I am still not Amritdhari but would love to be one one day, I hope there is a way we could exchange contacts and meet up and if things work out between us, may be Waheguru has sent you for another mission and not to be with him and his abusive family? When i got married I told my In laws quite strictly that I was totally against dowry of any kind and any gifts etc, I managed for many years with work i had and separated from my sister to make my own house with my wife we live together in this house for 9 yrs and last 3 yrs she was getting more and more ill. Not a day Have i shouted at her! i always respected her and loved her dearly! Think about it very hard a person does not have to be Amritdhari to be a nice person, their core is damaged and that cannot be changed! You may also talk to organisations like Southall Black sisters they are very good at these things! Or a similar one in your area! Take care. Waheguru!